Pastors

Kids Need Michelle and Starbucks

Leadership Journal June 12, 2009

Our country’s economic downturn affects more than your budget.

Two to 3 million additional children will begin to live below the poverty line as a result of the current recession. Their lives will become more difficult. Attitudes might slip. So will attendance. And not just at school, but also at church and in the neighborhood. Yes, your church, your school, or your neighborhood.

Consider this reality for a moment. As kids begin to act different in your ministry, consider if their families might some of the ones affected. These additional 2 million or more children will likely lack attention that they once received. That happens when parents must exert energies elsewhere; to climb back to where they were financially not long ago. Every day, the economy brazenly commits petty theft of attention away from those who need it and deserve it—children.

My prayer to combat this crime: Give us more people like Michelle.

Who is Michelle? Michelle teaches fourth grade teacher in Aurora, Illinois. She knows that home life is tough for many kids in her class. So difficult, in fact, that some don’t want to leave school.

At the end of many days, she gives a hug to students she did not have a chance to interact with much during the day. She says that in her heart, she apologizes: “I wish I could have given you more attention today than this three second hug.” Most don’t want the hug to stop—it likely will be the only positive adult attention they receive that day. Too many go home to face loneliness. Maybe not always in a physical sense, but often in an emotional one.

In Genesis 2:18 God said that it’s not good for man to be alone.

Every child deserves to know that he or she matters to someone. I need that affirmation, too. Of course, I’m fortunate to be reminded every day that I matter a lot to my wife, my son, my daughter, and the Starbucks baristas. Okay, that last one’s a stretch.

Or is it?

Sure, at the shop I visit they warmly greet everyone. That’s part of their training. After all, there’s business involved. I know all that. But there’s still a brief connection. A tiny moment where the person makes me feel like I matter. It comes from a deliberate greeting, with strong eye contact. A big smile. A trivial question: How’s your day so far? An offer to do something for me. And if Michelle decided to work there, I guarantee I’d leave with a hug.

What’s the point to all this rambling?

More and more kids need to know they matter to at least one other person. Kids who attend your ministry. Kids mentored at school. Kids who attend a midweek program. Kids in your neighborhood. Not everyone hugs like Michelle, nor should they try. But you can train your volunteers to mimic the baristas.

Seriously.

Coach all the people you lead to deliberately greet kids by bending over, stooping down, or doing whatever vertical adjustment they need to in order to engage children eye to eye. Looking down at kids just doesn’t cut it. Watch in your ministry this weekend; you’ll find very few—if any—people do a good job at this.

Train them to smile. Yes, insist they fake one if they’ve had a rough morning or rough week. I’ve told many volunteers “You’re here to serve the kids; smiles are required.” Think about this prerequisite when you interview volunteers. And what appears on your face on days when you face challenges.

Back to the training.

Stress to volunteers the valuable relationship gains made when they initiate conversations with children, maybe as simple as, “How’s your day so far?” Follow all this with an offer to do something with the child, even if it’s for just a brief moment. Sounds too simple, I know. But it will make a profound impact on a little heart.

Kids arrive to us in a variety of conditions. Many are in particular need of the one thing that Christians possess in abundance: love. Could that be the reason God puts us in a position to serve kids he’s crazy about? Especially those in need. Yes, every kid longs to know that he or she matters. It’s a message of love that’s easy to send. Please take a few moments and train your people—and train your own heart. Don’t just assume that that message comes from anyone else.

After all, Michelle has only 28 students.

David Staal, senior editor of Today’s Children’s Ministry, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. Prior to this assignment, David led Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. David is the author of Words Kids Need to Hear (2008) and lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky, son Scott, and daughter Erin. Interested in David speaking at your event? Click here

©2009, David Staal

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