Brooke is an 8-year-old girl full of energy. She loves to dance, loves to play, and is fiercely loyal to her friends. Every year as we begin to tell the stories leading up to Easter (about the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of Jesus), Brooke becomes visibly upset. She is angered by the behavior of the Pharisees. She is so mad at Judas. She is visibly shaken by the death of Christ. Brooke feels these painful stories from the Bible very deeply.
Alex is a 4-year-old boy who loves puzzles, loves to play with his friends, and can barely contain any sort of excitement. Recently his mom told me that after hearing the story of Judas one Sunday morning, Alex came home talking about Jesus’ mean friends who put nails in his hands and hurt him. His conclusion: “We need to come inside our house and shut the doors so Jesus’ friends won’t put nails in us!”
Brooke and Alex (not their real names) exemplify the challenge we face when we approach difficult Bible stories with children. Children can misinterpret or even become scared by them. But the real problem, though, is that the Bible is full of these kinds of stories!
Recently I had the opportunity to attend a children’s ministry conference where Walter Wangerin was the keynote speaker. Wangerin’s message was two-fold: tell stories, even painful ones.
This got me thinking. In my own ministry, I often teach children Bible verses or lessons based on the Bible. And these are good things to do, right? Unfortunately, I’m not really telling them God’s redemptive story.
You see, Wangerin’s point was that too often within the church we use stories as illustrations to model good behavior. In the typical 3-year-old curriculum, for example, you find that nearly every story illustrates how God wants us to share our toys or to be kind to our brother or sister. Our instincts are good. We draw moral lessons from stories so that the kids will “get something out of it.” But is that really what these stories are for?
Several years ago my husband and I had the privilege of teaching a 3-year-old Sunday school class. As students of theology, both in college and graduate school, we were fairly certain that we could handle whatever the children threw at us.
But we definitely underestimated them. In one class, we told the Genesis story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph’s brothers hate him because he is their father’s favorite, and they want to kill him. So they attempt to do just that, but one brother intervenes. So they throw Joseph in a hole and sell him into slavery instead (arguably not a whole lot better). When we read the end of the story later in Scripture, we find that God is watching over Joseph and even ordering his steps toward a great plan. How beautiful to be part of God’s story of redemption!
But that wasn’t the lesson we were told to teach. Our curriculum instructed us to teach that God wants us to share our things with others and that God protects us. You see, Joseph’s brothers were trying to take his coat; God wants us to share our coats. Now go and share with your friends. Oh, and Joseph was thrown into a hole and sold into slavery, but God protected him. He protects us, too.
The children saw straight through this attempt at life application. “If they wanted his coat, why did they rip it up?” they asked. “If God was protecting Joseph, why did he let him be sold into slavery?” They knew that the application of this story was not as simple as we were trying to make it.
According to Wangerin, I should have just told the story in such a way that the children might recognize their place within that story. Application is important, but it comes later. First we need to tell the story.
This is where things get uncomfortable. Too often in church we want to shield our children from painful stories. The examples of Brooke and Alex illustrate why. We don’t want our kids to experience feelings like anxiety or fear at church. So we feel as if we must “pretty-up” those painful stories and go for easy application. When we do that, the story of Joseph’s painful life becomes a lesson in how God wants us to be nice to our friends. And with the story of Noah’s Ark, we totally skip over the death and destruction and talk about rainbows and promises. The trouble with this approach is that there are some stories that just defy easy application. So, when we can’t figure out how to apply a story, we might skip it. For example, we’re eager to talk about Easter. But how willing are we to talk about the betrayal, beating, and crucifixion of Jesus?
Our church runs a program for our children called Young Children and Worship. One of the things I love about this worship program is that it allows our children to hear the story of the gospel with no adaptations or additions, painful stories included. In their worship space, our children are simply invited to meet God. I love watching the children realize their place in the redemptive story and find peace in the loving arms of our Savior.
As divorce increases, terrorism abounds, and the economy stinks, children are bearing a tremendous burden. Experts will tell you that children, even young ones, are very much aware of the evil around them. Unlike previous generations that wanted someone to make them feel better about society, the next generaton wants someone to give them hope despite the despicable nature of society.
As children’s ministers, we are called to bring the message of hope that is ours as Christians—that God has power over evil. That we are each a part of God’s beautiful, redemptive story. Though pain and sorrow will come, God is faithful. Though we hear about the crucifixion now, the resurrection is coming. If we don’t tell the difficult stories contained in Scripture within the walls of the church, we are not equipping children to find God in their own pain at home.
We have to tell the difficult stories.
I wish you could have joined our congregation on Easter morning to see the celebration it was for Brooke and Alex. Just as strongly as they had felt the pain of Christ, they rejoiced in the resurrection. Brooke could not contain her excitement. Alex was overjoyed. I think as adults we could learn something from the sincerity of these feelings. The beauty of the resurrection, the indescribable joy of this event, is grounded in the reality of the crucifixion. But it wasn’t the end of the story.
Amy O’Brien is Minister of Christian Education at Immanuel Presbyterian Church in Warrenville, Illinois. She has a master’s in Christian Formation and Ministry from Wheaton College Graduate School. She has worked with children in various capacities for nearly 10 years and loves to see them come to know the Good Shepherd.
