I'm one of those people who hates confrontation and would do just about anything to avoid conflict. So it may come as a surprise that I'm also an apologist for the Christian faith, an enterprise that involves disagreements of all kinds.
1 Peter 3:14 tell us, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." An atheist quoted that verse to me right before asking why I believed in God. I quickly realized for the first time that my Christian faith was largely grounded in experience. My reasons for believing were valid, but not convincing for someone looking for arguments based in logic and reason.
Even after I did my homework—learning the arguments for the existence of God and the reliability of the Bible—I quickly discovered I also had to know the right way to articulate them, particularly in the face of the insults and mockery some atheists like to substitute for intelligent and reasonable dialogue. I didn't just study the "what" of apologetics; I studied the "how," turning to guides such as Greg Koukl's Tactics.
Judging by the dearth of women in apologetics, I'm not the only one who doesn't like disagreements and strives for peace in all things. Sheryl Sandburg's Lean In brought up once again women's hesitancy to be assertive, even in situations when we have a cause to fight for. Women are actually more underrepresented in philosophy—a field overtaken by aggressive debates, according to Freakonomics– than in math and science.
The problem with these patterns does not lie with some innate inability for women to engage in debate, but the perceptions and expectations we hold. In No More Christian Nice Girl, Jennifer Degler and Paul Coughlin note that "boys are commended for their assertiveness while girls are praised for being quiet and calm. By the sixth and seventh grades, a girl's primary concern is being popular and well-liked"… and nobody likes an arguer, do they?
It doesn't help that many of us end up in churches that misinterpret Bible verses such as 1 Timothy 2:12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 to mean that a good Christian woman is a silent Christian woman. As a result, we smile. We nod. We keep our mouths closed even when we have something worthwhile to say.
Plus, in postmodern America, we get told truth is relative and we don't have the right to impose our views. But as Christians—men and women—we must continue to see Christ's command to go and share the Gospel as pertinent today as it was when he delivered it (Matt. 28:16-20).
Of course, apologetics doesn't have to involve the harsh fights and heated debates we may initially imagine. Remember, Jesus himself was an apologist. Many see Christ as—in Degler and Couglin's words—"the nicest man to skip across ancient soil," but he also had backbone. The Pharisees constantly confronted him, and he never retreated. His responded out of necessity to assert the truth, not a desire to stir up conflict.
As Jesus showed us, apologetics can work simply within our normal conversations. In Arguing With Friends: Keeping Your Friends and Your Convictions, Paul Buller points out that presenting one's beliefs and the reasons behind them—the essence of an argument—can be done peacefully and pleasantly. Given our gender's propensity for forming relationships and communicating skilfully, as noted by Degler and Coughlin, we should excel at apologetics.
Luckily, we do have more female apologists encouraging women to pursue this field, such as Mary Jo Sharp, author of Defending the Faith: Apologetics in Women's Ministry. Sharp points out our ability to use our relational inclinations as we explain and defend our faith. Some non-believers complain that people who witness to them didn't seem to care for them as people, only as another "victory notch" on their Bible. Sharp writes, "people are not a means to an end and especially not a statistical end; people are an end in themselves."
Beyond enabling us to engage with non-believers, a rich knowledge of apologetics deepens our faith, enriches our communities, and benefits our families.
Studying apologetics has given me a greater knowledge of the Lord and his Word and has brought me into a closer, richer relationship with him. Plus, I was able to share what I learned with fellow Christians, helping to equip them for the challenge of defending the faith. This is particularly good for our kids—who need to know how to respond to challenges to their faith as they grow older and begin to hear arguments against God, the Bible, and Christianity. These lines may sound convincing at first, but they're ultimately deeply flawed and misguided. We need to prepare our young people to recognize their defects and respond to them with logical, intelligent and well-reasoned responses.
In my journey as a defender of God and my faith, I have learned one all-important thing. It's the Holy Spirit who does the work, not me. My job is to engage people in conversation – in his power. I couldn't – and shouldn't – try to do it in my own. And I can tell you: if I can overcome my reservations and witness for the Lord, you can, too.
Mary Lou Cornish is a Canadian journalist who holds master's degrees in both journalism and theological studies. She writes poetry, fiction, and non-fiction and has been involved in apologetics for over a decade. You can read her book reviews at Apologetics315.com
The Nelons, a gospel group, were performing a concert at the history Majestic Theatre in Chillicothe, Ohio, Thursday night when a fire broke out. Members of Beyond the Ashes, the opening act, took quick action and helped the headliners to get out of the building safely.
Several members of both groups were treated at a local hospital for smoke inhalation, and later released. The Nelons have been cleared by a doctor to perform at a concert in Dayton tonight.
A curtain behind the stage had caught fire as Beyond the Ashes left the stage and the Nelons were about to begin their set when the fire alarm sounded. Aaron Crisler, spokesman for the Nelons, says Kelly Nelon Clark, her husband Jason Clark and daughter Amber Nelon Thompson credited members of Beyond the Ashes for helping them to escape.
The fire was put out within an hour, and there were no major injuries or fatalities. The cause of the fire has not yet been determined. The event stirred memories of a horrible concert fire in Rhode Island in 2003 that killed 100 people.
I remember the first time I was going to share my story in a church setting. Just as the congregation was getting ready to trickle in, a woman looked at me and said, "Are you sure you want to do this? People will never look at you the same again."
I started to panic. Was I making the right choice? Maybe she was right? Maybe a story like mine was fine to share in the strip clubs, but not with the general public, and certainly not in the church.
A friend assured me, "Who cares what they think? If they have a problem with your story, that is between them and God." She reminded me that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Rev. 12:11). She told me that God was going to use my story to set other people free. It was only a few years prior that I had been set free—from my sin, from an abusive relationship, from a life as a stripper—as a result of someone bravely sharing their story.
Though I had been attending church and learning about Jesus, I found myself stuck in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend who essentially became my pimp. Every night, I came home from work at the strip club and gave him all of my money. He validated the negative things I believed about myself, so no matter how destructive the relationship became, I stayed.
One night, I heard a man share his testimony a Christian hip-hop concert. He told us that he had been living on the streets, a homeless drug addict, and Jesus changed his life. The man quoted John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
I had never heard someone publicly talk about their troubled past with such confidence and transparency. Up until that point, I was pretty convinced—as the enemy would have it—that I was the only one in the church dealing with brokenness. It is this sort of lie that keeps us bound and silent. That night, I began to think God could love and restore a girl like me. I decided to connect my life to the true Vine, Jesus, and from that resolution and his relentless love, I gained the strength to leave my abusive ex and stripping behind.
In the years since then, and since my first nervous night sharing my testimony at church, God went on to use my story to create the ministry of Treasures, an outreach and support group for women in the sex industry. I met many women who were, like me, ashamed of their stories. "My Story Matters" quickly became a Treasures motto.
Over the past decade, the issues of sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation have gained public attention. You've probably heard about trafficking at your church or read about it on Christian websites. Whereas survivors used to have to break through barriers silence, shame, and stigma to have their voices heard, nowadays, there seems to be a spotlight waiting for anyone who will come forward with a story of victimhood.
I recently spent two hours recounting my history of trauma, abuse, and working as a stripper for a documentary. The director was wrapping the interview and asked if there was anything else I would like to cover. "Well, we didn't talk about Treasures and the work I do today… or what has happened in my life since I left the sex industry," I told him. He paused and pondered this for a moment. "That's okay. I think we've got what we need."
I'm concerned with so much attention being given to the "victimhood" part of commercial sexual exploitation and trafficking stories, survivors continue to be defined by their pasts. And if survivors begin to see their value solely through the lens of their "victimhood" and people's desire to hear their stories, what happens when the spotlight moves on to a new cause? What happens when we aren't invited to share our stories anymore?
I still believe that story matters. I still believe it brings freedom. I believe it humanizes the woman on the other end of the dollar. It is a powerful tool in bringing awareness, education, and hope.
I believe these things because I know my story goes on beyond the pain and victimhood in my past to reveal my new identity in Jesus, my Savior. I am not defined by what I have done, but what he has done. The same goes for all of us as Christians.
My story matters, but it does not define me.
Harmony Dust is the founder and executive director of Treasures, an outreach and support group for women in the commercial sex industry. She has been featured in various media sources, including Glamour Magazine, The Dr. Drew Show, and The Tyra Banks Show. Her memior Scars & Stilettos was published by Lion Hudson.
A version of this essay originally appeared in a Treasures newsletter. To subscribe, click here.
Anthony Facello, a member of Beyond the Ashes (pictured at left), said that “watching a 30-foot wall of fire engulf the stage area as our friends, the Nelons, sang was a scary experience. We didn’t really think about doing anything but getting them and others to safety. I know it was God’s hand that carried all of out of that fire. We are so grateful.”
The Majestic Theater, which opened in the 1850s, has hosted many legendary entertainers, including Laurel and Hardy, Milton Berle and Sophie Tucker.
