Pastors

The Loving-Kindness of Covenant Membership

Despite the risk of pastoral misuse, churches need a model for intentional soul-care.

Leadership Journal June 16, 2015

In 1990 I attended a mega church in Eugene, Oregon. The college pastor and I met up weekly, and one day he asked if I wanted to join the church. “No thanks, George, I’m only going to be here for four years.” Somehow I thought joining a church happened about the same time you picked out a burial plot. George didn’t push back. I spent all of college with no commitment to the church, and no category for covenant church membership.

What is covenant church membership? It’s the idea that commitment in a local church is a two-way street. The believer commits to attend, pray for, uphold the doctrines of, and generally promote the mission of a particular congregation. Meanwhile, the congregation as a whole agrees to teach, pray for, encourage, and generally hold every member accountable to live a Christ-like life. While covenant church membership is implied in a number of passages, it’s also an implicit part of the Bible’s storyline: God ordained a people for himself and as God’s people the church is to live out, together, all the commandments of Christ.

In light of recent events, many have objected to the practice of church discipline, an integral part of covenant membership that many find uncharitable at best and oppressive at worst. When I first came to pastor in Atlanta I found that many members of my church wanted nothing to do with this kind of intensive pastoral oversight. They saw membership as a one-way street or a personal agreement between them and God. They wanted their pastor to keep his nose out of their business.

They saw membership as a one-way street or a personal agreement between them and God. They wanted their pastor to keep his nose out of their business.

In spite of the risk (and at times, reality) of pastoral misuse and misstep, I believe covenant membership to be a biblical and incredibly useful model for carrying out pastoral care and encouraging church community. To abandon covenant church membership is to lose an opportunity to shepherd souls.

Intentional and immediate care of souls

Everybody has a story. It’s important for those stories to be heard and known before someone joins the church. This can happen naturally—at a picnic, over coffee, in a hallway conversation – but covenant church membership is a way of intentionally making sure the stories of members are heard.

Before someone joins my church, they meet with me and another elder. These conversations are the highlight of my week. I get to hear how a person came to know the Lord and how the Lord has been at work in his or her life. I’m better able to shepherd each individual member by knowing their stories.

One young man at my church lost his mom about a year before he joined. Sitting with him during a membership interview I got to hear his pain, see his grief, and better understand the difficult journey ahead of him. Whenever I see him, I know something of his struggle, and I know how to pray for him. I may not remember everything from every meeting, but I remember enough to help carry the burdens of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Scripture commands pastors to actively care for souls. To do that well we have to find a way to know the souls entrusted to our care. Intentionally meeting with every member before they become members has helped me to know and care for members without anyone falling through the cracks.

Exhorting Christians to turn from sin

The church is a place for sinners, and all sinners are welcome. But church membership is for sinners who are willing to fight sin, who see their sin and are trying by God’s grace to put it to death. If a member refuses to attack his sin, they may not be ready to join the church.

“Rob” wanted to join the church. I saw a love for God, a desire to please him, and a clear understanding of the gospel. Rob was a fairly new believer, struggled with addiction, and longed for a fresh start and a church home. As we talked, I learned that Rob was living with his girlfriend. He knew a lot about Christianity, but he hadn’t come to understand the importance of marriage. “Rob,” I said, “you really need to think about either separating from your girlfriend or getting married.”

He was taken aback that I’d even bring up his personal life, but he didn’t get angry. The Spirit of God dwelt in him and he wanted to honor the Lord. He went home, talked to his girlfriend, and the two married a couple days later. At first, his girlfriend was upset at the church for pressing the issue. But as she attended church with her new husband and started hearing the Bible read and preached, the Lord began to work in her life. Eventually she read through the Bible in an evangelistic study hosted by the church. She said she never read a book so beautiful. The Lord used his Word to save her soul. The process of covenant church membership was part of God’s plan to lead Rob and his new wife out of darkness and into light.

I’ll never forget “Sam.” Like Rob, he wanted to join the church and needed to meet with me first. As I heard Sam’s story it was clear there was a problem. He had just gotten a divorce and it was clear that he had no biblical grounds. Sam left his marriage simply because it was difficult.

Sam’s marital history was just a part of his story. As he and I worked through his life there was a lot about Christianity Sam just didn’t understand. I wanted to talk about his marriage, but I knew the bigger issue was his relationship Christ. I said to Sam, “You know, before people join the church we often meet for a Bible study. Would you be willing to do that?” Sam was thrilled.

He and I started going through the Gospel of Mark. We’d read a few chapters and then talk about them. I deliberately didn’t bring up his divorce. We just read through Mark. The week after he studied Mark 10 he came into my office with tears in his eyes. “Aaron, I think I’ve sinned against God by getting a divorce. What do I do?”

We discussed what happened and how he could make it right. He went to his ex-wife and asked for forgiveness. That encounter went well, and they began to see each other regularly. I could hardly believe it when, a few months later, they remarried. Amazing! The intentional approach to soul-care fostered by covenant membership caused me to delve into Sam’s life, and God used it for good.

Not everyone responds the way Rob and Sam did. I’ve encountered more than one person who felt I was unfairly questioning their salvation when I suggested they study the Bible with me or someone else before they join the church.

But most Christians are like Rob and Sam. They are thankful that a pastor and a church cares enough about their soul to point them to the gospel before letting them join the church. Covenant church membership encourages pastors to value member care more than retaining members.

Warning those who refuse to abandon sin

“Dave” began to attend our church looking for a new start. His wife had recently divorced him because he’d had a series of affairs. Dave fell in love with the church, felt convicted by the preaching, and soon said he’d been born again. He blamed his past affairs on the fact that he’d never truly understood the gospel.

The apostle Paul had a pretty sketchy background, too. We know the church is for sinners, and certainly we want to give a guy like Dave the benefit of the doubt. But eventually we found out that Dave had moved in with his non-Christian girlfriend. He said it was with the hope of seeing her come to faith in Christ. When confronted, he refused to move out, claiming that it would harm his witness to her.

Addressing this kind of sin is not easy, and churches can make mistakes. For example, we can be too harsh in pointing sin out. We can also be too quick or too slow to affirm genuine repentance. In 2 Corinthians 7:10 Paul notes how “godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation” while “worldly grief produce death.” How can we be sure someone’s repentance is fueled by godly grief? In Dave’s case, it didn’t seem like his life had really changed. He said he wanted a new start but he seemed to want to keep living life on his own terms. Upon further inspection, he bore the marks of worldly grief. As a result, we didn’t allow Dave to join the church. Our process of membership gave us the opportunity to warn Dave that his actions weren’t in line with the gospel.

Godly elders know how much God has forgiven them, and are eager to see others experience the grace of God in the context of an accepting congregation. Only God can see into the heart, and only God knows for sure if someone’s repentance is genuine.

I’m sad for Dave. More to the point, I fear for his soul. But I think we did the right thing by letting him know he had to deal with his sin before he could join the church. We loved Dave by telling him true believers pursue holiness, and we loved the church by protecting her from someone who claimed to love Jesus but refused to follow him.

Serving the weak and suffering

Not long after I came to my current church, I learned about the failing marriage of a young couple. The husband didn’t know how to lead. The wife felt neglected and unfulfilled. She fled into the arms of another man and, even though there were two kids in the equation, she refused to return home. When I confronted her about her sin she simply said, “I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.” When I pressed she replied, “I’m a Christian, and I guess I’m just going to have to trust that God will forgive me.”

The leaders of the church and I had long conversations about what to do. The Bible was clear that she must not abandon her family. She was refusing to follow the clear commands of Christ. We know that Paul had urged the church to excommunicate the sexually immoral man in 1 Corinthians 5 and faithfulness to Scripture implied we needed to do the same here.

I wanted to be able to look her kids in the eye and let them know I did everything I could to fight for their parents’ marriage. After hours of prayer, numerous conversations with the wife, and more than one person pleading with her to choose her husband and kids over the affair, she refused. Eventually the church agreed to tell this young mother, “If you are going to choose your sin over your husband, we can’t affirm you are a Christian, and we have to vote you out of membership as a matter of church discipline.”

I know that a lot of people don’t like this idea of covenant church membership, especially if it includes church discipline. They say it’s legalistic or just plain mean. But as a pastor, I’m thankful to be at a church that takes membership seriously. We will undoubtedly make mistakes along the way, but we should do all we can to carefully shepherd souls.

Aaron Menikoff is the pastor of Mount Vernon Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia and is the author of Politics and Piety (Pickwick, 2014).

Copyright © 2015 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

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