Got a question? Email advice@christianitytoday.com to ask CT’s advice columnists. Queries may be edited for brevity and clarity.
Q: How much is too much? I’m thinking about all the unnecessary stuff we buy for ourselves when our resources could be used to alleviate suffering. How can I justify taking my family to a $100 dinner when there are single moms in my city who need that money for groceries? Vacations, jewelry, luxury cars: How do we Christians justify those things? It’s an unoriginal question, but I think about it a lot. —Torn in Texas
Karen Swallow Prior: It’s helpful to begin with the biblical principle of tithing. The spirit of the tithe is to give according to a posture and a proportion. Both principles apply regardless of income, and they require us to give early, gladly, and in the percentage we promised, not merely whatever we feel we can spare (1 Cor. 16:2; 2 Cor. 9:7).
But for those of us who enjoy prosperity and material excess beyond what most of humanity can imagine, that answer may seem insufficient. The needs around us are great, and many of us could give much more while still living comfortably ourselves.
Practically, you might consider giving more of your income to those in need. Maybe build a habit of donating to a local food pantry each time you eat out or adopt an overall lifestyle that’s considerably less luxurious than what you can afford.
But perhaps the most helpful way to address the question is to turn it around. Instead of asking how much is too much, ask what our lifestyles are doing to us—both individually and collectively. There’s a reason Jesus said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:25). Scripture doesn’t say exactly how much is too much, but a lifestyle of giving rather than acquiring brings us nearer to the kingdom of God.
Illustration by Jack RichardsonKaren Swallow Prior lives in rural Virginia with her husband, two dogs, and several chickens. Following a decades-long vocation as an English professor, Karen now speaks and writes full-time.
Q: How do you discern between privilege and blessing? I was raised to think my house, car, and sociodemographic context were blessings, but I’m now aware of the economic and social systems behind all that—I’m realizing my privilege. But also, my parents are amazing humans, which is a blessing. How should a Christian think about ideas like luck, blessing, and privilege? —Moneyed in Michigan
Kevin Antlitz: I tend to think of blessing as a divine intention, an unearned gift of God’s favor meant for a person’s flourishing. Privilege arises from our cultural context. It’s the advantage that comes from one’s social location. It may come from parts of our lives that we have no control over (e.g., race or sex) as well as from aspects that could possibly change (e.g., education or class).
There can be overlap between these two categories, but they aren’t the same, and how they relate is complex. To have privilege—say, being born into a wealthy family—can absolutely be a blessing. But not having privilege isn’t a curse. After all, Jesus did say, “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God” (Luke 6:20).
For Christians, it’s important to remember that neither privilege nor blessing is the result of luck or chance. Every aspect of our lives is part of God’s good (albeit mysterious) providence.
It’s also worth bearing in mind that it’s okay to be grateful for all these things—so long as we understand that both privilege and blessing are not ultimately for us. They are given for the sake of others. We need not feel guilt or shame for the goods we enjoy, but using them rightly is fundamental to our identity as God’s people. Like Abraham, the father of our faith, we are blessed to be a blessing (Gen. 12:1–3).
Jack RichardsonKevin Antlitz is an Anglican priest at a Pittsburgh church positively overflowing with kids. He and his wife have three young children who they pray will never know a day apart from Jesus.
Illustrations by Ben HickeyQ: Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about fun. I have two young kids, and a desire to have fun seems pretty wired into the way they not only want but need to experience the world. And they want me to have fun with them! Does fun cease to have value at some point in life? Or does it become refreshment for doing our “real” work? Or does it have its own value? —Inquisitive in Ireland
Kiara John-Charles: Our society often treats fun as a reward for completing our “real” work, something to squeeze in after our obligations are fulfilled. Then, as responsibilities grow, we may forget to pause and enjoy the life God has given us.
While fun can refresh us after work, it also holds unique value. It’s not inherently frivolous or foolish but a meaningful part of life given to us by God. Fun creates connection, sparks creativity, brings balance in hard times, and forms joyful memories. “A cheerful heart is good medicine,” says Proverbs 17:22, “but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Fun can also help us cultivate joy and gratitude. Learning to appreciate the small gifts woven throughout our lives helps us enjoy God and his creation. Your children are inviting you into a beautiful space God intended for us. From the beginning, God delighted in his creation (Gen. 1:31), and as his image bearers, we are meant to delight in the world around us as well.
Scripture reminds us that joy can fill our everyday moments (Ecc. 8:15) and that it is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). The prophets depict playing children as a sign of God’s favor and redemption (Isa. 11:8; Zech. 8:4–5). And as you find ways to have fun with your kids, you might experience delight and the gift of life in an entirely new way.
Illustration by Jack RichardsonKiara John-Charles is an LA native with Caribbean roots and a love for travel and food. She works as a pediatric occupational therapist and serves at her local church in Long Beach, California.