In its ever-rigorous search for new areas of ministry, Evangelical Amusements has decided that the northern states of this country have been ignored for too long. There are vast groups of unchurched people, bundled up and burdened down with parkas, snow, sin, mittens, ice, face masks, and wind. How do you reach them? Use snowmobiles.

A snowmobile can go where the snow culture is. And it’s faster than cross country skis. A large sm with a wide ski base has enough room to carry the tools of the evangelistic trade—a Bible and an offering plate—as well as cooking gear, a rifle, a fishing pole or two, maybe even a tent.

Also, a snowmobile doesn’t make you as winded as skiing. How could you have breath enough to preach, if you are huffing and puffing from ski exertion? A preacher needs all the wind he can get.

You do have the problem, though, of gasoline. Carry an extra gallon or two. It’s no fun to be stranded in the North Woods alone, with just your sm as companion. Anyway, it’s a bad witness to seem so unprepared. People up north cover all contingencies. Survival is the snowword. For those stewardship-conscious preachers, just remember. You may be spending money on gas, but you’ll save on hotel and food bills.

Once you’ve got your snowmobile, you might think you’re ready to set out on your preaching itinerary. A word of caution, however. An sm is not a car. Or a cycle. Or a motorboat. Steering is not easy. But with practice you can avoid spruce trees, rocks, roots, and the local rabbit or grouse. (There are better ways to kill your dinner. That’s what the rifle is for.) A traveling prayer might be in order, as well. And don’t let the speedometer go to your head. ...

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