In a Survey, Most Canadian Evangelicals Grade Their Marriages with High Marks

Faith Alive magazine finds that pastors’ wives rank their marriages among the least satisfying.

In a survey of Canadian evangelicals, pastor’s wives say they have the least satisfying marriages, and missionaries rank their marriages among the happiest. The survey also found pastors admitting to the greatest number of sexual temptations, and unordained men admitting to the highest percentage of extramarital affairs.

Faith Alive magazine, published by the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada, asked its readers what contributes to healthy marriages. The survey uncovered reasons for potential marriage breakup, and discovered a desire on the part of women for their husbands to exercise stronger spiritual leadership. Because only about 350 readers responded, the survey results are inconclusive. However, the responses provide interesting insights into how Canadian evangelicals view marriage.

When the respondents rated their marriages with letter grades, missionaries topped the list with A-plus. Pastors’ wives rated their marriages lowest, with a B-minus. Respondents with a family income of $10,000 or less ranked third, and high-income couples ranked tenth. Working wives ranked sixth, slightly higher than those who do not work outside the home (eighth). Pastors gave their marriages a grade of A-minus, while teachers graded their marriages with a B.

Respondents indicated a high degree of confidence in their marriages. Seventy percent were convinced that divorce or separation could never happen to them. Subgroups suggesting the greatest possibility of breakup included working wives (44% said it could happen), pastors’ wives (43%), and teachers (39%).

Asked what major factors have contributed to the state of their marriages, answers from “A” marriages included a Christ-centered life, personal maturity, teamwork, and a willingness to change. In the “C” through “F” categories, readers cited the problems of a non-Christian spouse, alcoholism, workaholism, wife’s depression, husband’s homosexuality, religious and intellectual differences, inability to communicate on sexual matters, unfaithfulness, and lack of husband’s leadership.

When asked “Have you ever had an affair as a Christian during your present marriage?,” 5 percent of men and 4 percent of women said they had. Twelve percent of men and 4 percent of women said they “have been tempted” or “have come close” to having an affair. Pastors admitted to the greatest number of temptations (15%), and laymen admitted having the highest percentage of extramarital affairs (8%). However, most respondents said the thought of having an affair had “never crossed my mind” (88% of men; 92% of women).

Would an affair be sufficient cause to end their marriage? Sixty-five percent said it would not, with only 11 percent answering “yes.” For what reasons would Canadian evangelicals consider leaving their spouses? Women expressed a surprising intensity in their answers. Forty-seven percent said they would leave their husbands for physical abuse, 32 percent for infidelity, and 27 percent for emotional starvation. Less than 1 percent would leave for lack of sexual excitement. Thirty percent would not leave for any reason.

On the other hand, 60 percent of the men would not leave their wives for any reason. Eighteen percent said they would leave if their wives were unfaithful, 15 percent for emotional starvation, and 9 percent for lack of sexual excitement.

The most surprising divergence of opinion was over who provides spiritual leadership in the family. All of the missionaries and 79 percent of the pastors said it is the husband. What was not expected was the difference between unordained men and women. Sixty percent of laymen said the husband is the spiritual leader. Sixty-three percent of women who do not hold outside jobs also indicated that the husband is the spiritual leader. But only 44 percent of working wives said their husbands are the leaders.

A full 32 percent of the women—but only 2 percent of the men—said the wife is the spiritual leader. Seven percent said neither spouse was the leader, or that they were not sure. Fourteen percent of the total (20% of the men; 10% of the women) said spiritual leadership is shared.

Those who claim a shared spiritual leadership or mission seem to be happiest and most fulfilled in life. Shared-leadership marriages on the average rated a grade of A-minus, with husband-led marriages ranking an average B-plus and wife-led marriages a C-plus.

Among the respondents, 96 percent were in their first marriage. Fifty-three percent were men, roughly half of them pastors. Half of the women surveyed worked outside the home. The average age was 40, and the average length of marriage was 20 years. Denominational affiliations were 19 percent Baptist, 18 percent Pentecostal, 14 percent Christian and Missionary Alliance, 9 percent Mennonite, and 40 percent were from more than 20 other denominations.

The Nation’s First ‘Clergy Malpractice’ Suit Goes To Trial Later This Month

A five-year-old lawsuit against Grace Community Church and its senior pastor, John F. MacArthur, Jr., will go to trial later this month in Los Angeles Superior Court. The unprecedented “clergy malpractice” case was dismissed in 1981 when a judge decided that MacArthur could not be held liable for the suicide of a 24-year-old churchgoer who sought counseling from the pastor. Last summer, however, an appeals court said the case should go to trial to clarify the meaning of tape-recorded comments about suicide made by Grace Community Church pastors (CT, Aug. 10, 1984, p. 65).

Marie and Walter J. Nally, parents of suicide victim Kenneth Nally, filed their $1 million suit claiming their son was told to pray, read the Bible, and continue receiving church counsel for his depression rather than seek professional psychiatric help. However, Nally did visit eight physicians and mental health professionals and was referred to six of them by people at Grace Community Church. Nally was a seminary student who worked part-time at the Panorama City, California, church. He shot himself on April 2, 1979.

Superior Court Judge Thomas C. Murphy, who dismissed the case in 1981, removed himself from its consideration this time. He said he could not be objective about the case, calling the appellate court opinion “ludicrous.”

Joseph R. Kalin, the judge who will hear the case, denied a recent motion to dismiss it. Attorneys for the Nallys are taking seriously the burden of proof: they submitted a list of 109 witnesses, most of whom are unknown to the defendants and have not been involved in the case until now. Edward Barker, one of the Nallys’ lawyers, sent a mailing to California mental health professionals to solicit names of people who might criticize MacArthur or the ministry of Grace Community Church.

Attorneys for the Nallys will focus on tapes of sermons preached by Grace Church pastors, and argue that pastoral counseling offered by the church was “incompetent.” Barker said he believes the case already has set an unofficial precedent: that “incompetent counselors can be held accountable.” He said the counseling Nally received came primarily from staff pastors at Grace Community Church, and not from MacArthur himself. “He [MacArthur] is probably not irresponsible personally.”

The attorneys say the taped sermons imply that suicide is an option by stating that a believer who takes his life will not be condemned by God.

Samuel E. Ericsson, director of the Christian Legal Society’s Washington office, is lead counsel for the church. He said the sermon excerpts in question have been taken out of context. In addition, he said, the taped comments were made 18 months after Nally’s death.

“The only thing the appellate court decision will accomplish is to chill the freedom of competent pastors to reach out to troubled people,” Ericsson said. “It won’t prevent one wrongdoer or evildoer from giving improper counsel.” Malpractice suits are well-known occupational hazards for doctors and lawyers. But attorneys on both sides of this case could find no similar suit filed against a clergyman. If the lawsuit succeeds, it could seriously inhibit pastoral counseling efforts and curtail the use of lay counselors as well.

WORLD SCENE

Thailand’s interior ministry has indicated plans to limit the length of stay of Mormon missionaries in that Southeast Asian country. “Some of the [Mormon] missionaries have created problems and, in some cases, have even become a public nuisance due to their zealousness in spreading their religion’s belief,” said a government official. The official said the government is considering limiting the visits of the 200 Mormon missionaries to three months at a time. It was unclear whether the government’s plans might affect missionaries representing other religious groups.

Three thousand animist converts to Christianity recently were baptized in a single ceremony in northern Sumatra, Indonesia. The converts belong to the Karo tribe, a group that has witnessed 10,000 conversions in the last three years. The United Methodist Church has begun a seminary in Sumatra to train additional church leaders.

At least one book of the Bible has been translated and printed in languages used by nearly 98 percent of the world’s population, according to the American Bible Society. During 1984, Scripture portions were translated into 23 additional languages, with Bible translations completed in three languages. The Bible is available—in whole or in part—in 1,808 languages. The entire Bible has been translated into 286 languages.

The Vatican has announced that it ended 1984 with a $29 million deficit.

Nearly $26 million of that amount was offset by a worldwide “Peter’s Pence” offering earmarked for use by the Pope. The remainder of the deficit will be covered by the Vatican’s own capital. Reasons cited for the deficit include an increased number of employees in the church’s central administration and increased costs due to inflation.

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