Three years ago this month a worried couple told Paul Nilsen, the principal of Central Elementary School in Wilmette, Illinois, that their nine-year-old adopted son had AIDS. John Graziano’s natural mother had abused drugs.
It was the first known case of AIDS in an Illinois school, though Nilsen, a graduate of Chicago’s North Park College and Seminary who is ordained by the Evangelical Covenant Church, was familiar with 1986 accounts of Ryan White. An AIDS victim in nearby Indiana, White was ostracized by his school district until he and his mother moved to another county.
Nilsen thanked the anxious parents for telling their secret, and he assured them their son belonged at school. He recalls feeling an obligation to follow the law, whatever that might entail. But he says he also wanted to act out of compassion toward the child with AIDS. He was careful to respect the boundary between church and state, but adds, “My school board allowed me to be a Christian in every way, especially recognizing the special worth of every human being.”
Avoiding Panic
Nilsen’s first objective was to avoid panic. For the first three weeks after learning of the AIDS case, he and other school officials worked behind the scenes, consulting local and national AIDS experts and compiling a medically accurate AIDS information packet. Then they began informing school workers closest to the case, though without revealing the boy’s identity.
The next step was to send parents a mailing, which included the information packet and stated that a child at the school had AIDS. The school set up conferences with parents and students, and established a hotline to answer questions from the community. Initial fears for self-protection turned to concern for John Graziano and his family. The Grazianos even invited some of the parents of children from John’s class to their home to discuss dealing with their AIDS child.
The response to AIDS coordinated by Nilsen was widely and favorably reported, including in the Chicago Tribune and Newsweek. Nilsen has since spoken to the American Association of School Administrators and the National Convention of Elementary School Principals about how he dealt with the problem, and he has traveled nationally to challenge churches and advise school systems on responding compassionately to AIDS.
Nilsen believes the church can learn something from how his school and community responded, that Christians must continue the struggle to shed judgmental attitudes and instead ask, “What is my responsibility?”
Last May, three days shy of John’s tenth birthday, Nilsen read Scripture at his funeral. The school planted a crab-apple tree that would bloom pink flowers (pink was John’s favorite color) each spring.
“I would never want to say that John was sent by God to teach us all a lesson,” says Nilsen, “but I think John’s plight did teach each of us a lesson of love and care and compassion. It made this community a stronger and more caring community.”
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