I'll say this much: You have to appreciate truth in advertising when it comes to Hollywood. "Beneath heaven lies hell. Beneath hell lies … The Cave." That can't be a good thing.

And thus the movie studio dug up this long-delayed cinematic fossil for release during the summer movie doldrums of late August—that little window of theatrical limbo for movies that they don't know what to do with. Unfortunately for them, The Cave probably cost too much to release it directly to video.

There's definitely an underworld in The Cave, but it has very little to do with demons and eternal punishment (unless, of course, it's being shown in regular rotation of a Worst Movies Marathon in hell a la The Far Side). The film's official site pains itself to establish the science behind the story. In the late 1980s, while surveying the soil for potential building, scientists discovered Romania's Movila Caves near the Black Sea. Inside they discovered a mini eco-system of sulphuric water supporting 35 new species of invertebrates, theorized as living fossils from the Ice Age. Of course, we're talking critters less than a foot long, but what if they were, like, really big? What if man weren't at the top of the food chain?

Morris Chestnut (right) reminds Cole Hauser to " respect the cave."

Morris Chestnut (right) reminds Cole Hauser to " respect the cave."

Far more tangential science than needed for such a sub-standard monster movie plot, which begins 30 years ago with a group of robbers raiding an ancient monastery in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania. They fall into a sealed, subterranean hollow and hear mysterious chattering in the dark, but to the film's credit, their fate isn't immediately revealed.

Cut to the present day, where we meet Jack (Cole Hauser), his brother Tyler (Eddie Cibrian), and an expert team of cave divers finishing an assignment somewhere in the ...

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The Cave
Our Rating
1½ Stars - Weak
Average Rating
 
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Mpaa Rating
PG-13 (for intense creature violence)
Genre
Directed By
Bruce Hunt
Run Time
1 hour 37 minutes
Cast
Piper Perabo, Morris Chestnut, Cole Hauser
Theatre Release
August 26, 2005 by Screen Gems
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