Last month, legendary singer-songwriter Carole King was recognized at the annual Kennedy Center Honors. In tribute, Aretha Franklin sang “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman,” a song King wrote for her nearly 50 years before.

During the performance, King—seated next to the Obamas on the balcony—bounced with joy, her mouth agape, cheering with excitement as Franklin belted out the well-known anthem. Her sincere enthusiasm for the fellow singer was inspiring, and the clip has since gone viral.

King and Franklin are the same age, both powerhouse singers from the ’60s and ’70s. Franklin epitomizes our notion of a diva—not only for her talent, but also for reportedly snubbing certain fellow female singers at various times throughout her career. And while the music industry will always have its girl feuds and rivalries, I think we’ve finally started to get over the idea that successful women must be in competition with one another.

Feminist podcasters and best friends Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow coined the term shine theory to describe a win-win approach to female friendship: “I don’t shine if you don’t shine.” Friedman posits that it’s time to stop seeing “intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished” women as competition and start teaming up with them. We want strong women in our corner, mutually benefitting from the “associative property of awesomeness.”

In other words, don’t let a successful colleague or acquaintance make you feel insecure. Deliberately seek her out and build a relationship with her. Celebrate her achievements. Learn from her.

Taylor Swift’s “squad” ...

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