It’s natural to want people to be invested in us. We were created for community, after all. How much energy we spend wondering what people think about us, though, is another question.

On a recent episode of Being Human, therapist and author Kathleen Smith spoke with Steve Cuss about doing away with the idea that the only two choices before us are either being a people-pleaser or not caring what others think. They talk about how Christians can take comfort in the fact that God is not surprised by how humanity functions and is present to us in our struggles.

As we grow in trusting God and building healthy relationships, may we extend ourselves the grace that we long for—asking ourselves what life may be like if we showed ourselves the patience God shows us. In doing so, may we find that our energy is replenished, empowering us to keep maturing in Christ and loving others well.