Jump directly to the Content

Spittin' Out Peas: When the Question is Control

Sometimes people won't swallow an idea because they don't like the taste of it. But often there's another issue.

A child psychologist was on television talking about why little children spit out their peas or dump over their Cream of Wheat.

"Sometimes the issue is that they really don't like the taste of peas," she said, "and sometimes it doesn't have anything to do with peas at all. Sometimes it is a matter of the child asserting his or her independence. Children become frustrated with doing what mother tells them to do, and they want a way to express their autonomy. If mothers can understand that," she said, "then they can respond to the real issue and better help their children."

As I listened, I thought about our church's struggle over whether to renovate the sanctuary, build a new one, or move to a new location, and I suddenly understood that some of the struggle wasn't over building or location at all, but over the issue of control.

What a Control Issue Looks Like

One time I was introduced to a control issue after an excellent Christmas program by our children's choir. An angry elder faced me. ...

Subscriber access only You have reached the end of this Article Preview

To continue reading, subscribe to Christianity Today magazine. Subscribers have full digital access to CT Pastors articles.

July/August
Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Networking for Dummies
Networking for Dummies
Making connections for the Kingdom's sake
From the Magazine
Who Will Pay Africa’s Medical Bills?
Who Will Pay Africa’s Medical Bills?
Locals are increasingly running African mission hospitals. The next challenge: keeping foreign donors.
Editor's Pick
When Churches Put Love at the Center
When Churches Put Love at the Center
How "beloved community" helps us envision tangible ways to embody kingdom values.
close