Jump directly to the content

Feature

The Case for Kids

A defense of the large family by a 'six-time breeder.'

I first heard the word in my college classroom a few years ago. I was an assistant professor of English at a state university, and, not incidentally, the mother of five children at the time. We were doing the usual around-the-room introductions in this opening class, which served as my forecast and early warning system for the upcoming semester. Several of the women had listed their occupations, their passions, and then mentioned they were also mothers. Then it was Rosalyn's turn. "Hi, I'm Rosalyn, and I've been a truck driver and a commercial fisherman, and I'm not a breeder." Everyone looked at me, silent, eyes wide. I smiled out of reflex, but suddenly it hit my brain like a smart bomb: A breeder? So that's the term now! Like dogs or horses, purely animal-species survival.

When I told an administrator at the college where I taught that I was pregnant and had decided to resign my position, he snorted and said, "This is your, what, ninth or tenth?" So many children, of course, that they are uncountable. The next summer, a neighbor I hadn't seen for awhile came to visit. "How many kids you got now?" he asked, in his usual direct manner.

"Six," I said, smiling bravely.

"Oh! That's too many! What do you have six kids for?" he asked, grimacing. "You gonna have any more?" was his parting shot. This despite the fact that I am nearly 50.

The messages are constant and clear. They are posted throughout the internet, and they descend upon me in my small hometown through almost weekly public accostings. In exceeding the national norm, which currently stands at 2.034 children per household, according to the Population Reference Bureau, I've stepped down the ladder of achievement and broken not one, but several social contracts. First and foremost: If you are an educated professional woman, you will not want innumerable children. Women who are ambitious and smart have better plans for their lives than hosting Tupperware parties and singing "I'm a Little Teapot"—with hand motions—at play groups. In the words of Katharine Hepburn, "I was ambitious and knew I would not have children. I wanted total freedom."

To the intentionally childless movement, better known as the Childfree movement (and the related One Child Only movement), I am at best the "other," at worst, the enemy. Both movements are on the rise, posting significant gains in the last few years. "Single-child families have doubled over the past 15 years," wrote Andy Steiner in her article "One for the Planet" that appeared in Utne Reader in 1998. Madelyn Cain, author of The Childless Revolution (Perseus, 2002), also claims a "dramatic increase in the number of childless women over the past 30 years." Cain, who is herself a mother, describes its primary impetus: "The emergence of childlessness means that women are seizing the opportunity to be fully realized, self-determined individuals." One of its greatest benefits is "the spiritual growth that takes place thanks to the availability of unfettered time." The smart, ambitious, fully realized 21st-century woman chooses career. The ambition-less woman has children.

The internet flickers with similar lively ideas and proclamations. The most reasonable of these sites, with "Happily Childfree" scripted as its background, asks in bold print, "Are all parents breeders?" It lists the identifying marks of a breeder (as opposed to a responsible parent), 43 in all. Top on the list: "You give your child some trendy soap-opera-based name or a traditional name with absurd spelling." Thankfully, I'm still in the running for a parent, until I hit number 25: "You believe that every child is a 'miracle' despite the fact that any cat in heat can also produce numerous 'miracles.' " I give up on any test that does not distinguish between a newborn baby and a litter of kittens.


More from Christianity Today
Sidelining the Stigma of Mental Illness

Sidelining the Stigma of Mental Illness

Amy Simpson challenges the church to step up its ministry to a vulnerable population.
Starting a Dialogue with Hip-Hop

Starting a Dialogue with Hip-Hop

Daniel White Hodge finds signs of the gospel in the beats of hip-hop.

The Latest in Movie News, June 17, 2013

Box office returns, Shrek on your TV, casting news, and Russell Crowe.
Popcultured: It's the Thoughts That Count

It's the Thoughts That Count

Why Christians can't be careless about the consumption of popular culture.
Get Instant Access
Christianity Today Magazine
Subscribe now for a year (10 issues) at $24.95 for print, iPad, and instant web access.

International Orders

Comments

This article has no comments
You must be a Christianity Today subscriber to post comments
(on articles open to the public, you must at least register for a free account).
Login
or
Subscribe
or
Register

Don't Miss

Want to Change the World? Sponsor a Child

Want to Change the World? Sponsor a Child

A top economist shares the astounding news about that little picture hanging on our refrigerator.
The Stand-in Church

The Stand-in Church

Sometimes we speak the gospel from the bottom up.

The New Televangelists

The New Televangelists

I had to look past celebrity ministry to learn how to really pastor.

more | current issue

Books & Culture

Writing for the Reader

Writing for the Reader

A conversation with ...

Today's Christian Woman

Kirk Cameron: Love is Worth Fighting For

Kirk Cameron: Love is Worth Fighting For...

The 1990s teen heartthrob...

Out of Ur

Tweeting the (other) SBC

Tweeting the (other) SBC

Oh be careful little...

Gifted For Leadership Blog

Habits of the Heart, Part 1

Habits of the Heart, Part 1

Why routine spiritual...

Facebook

CT eBooks & Bible Studies


Shopping