Subscribe to Christianity Today
Subscribe to Christianity Today
Donate to Christianity Today
login | my account
May 26, 2012

Home > 2010 > OctoberChristianity Today, October, 2010
How Far Should Forgiveness Go?
Seventy times seven? I can barely forgive some corrupt clergy once.




"Forgiving love is a possibility only for those who know that they are not good, who feel themselves in need of divine mercy, who live in a dimension deeper and higher than that of moral idealism, feel themselves as well as their fellow men convicted of sin by a holy God and know that the differences between the good man and the bad man are insignificant in his sight."
—Reinhold Niebuhr, An Interpretation of Christian Ethics

I wish I could believe every one of these words from Reinhold Niebuhr. Instinctually, I don't, wishing instead for Dante's hell for certain kinds of sinners—like corrupt pastors who egregiously violate their calling and never repent. In my unregenerate opinion, I believe these types of sinners should be relegated to the eighth and ninth circles of Dante's Inferno.

I've read numerous books on forgiveness. Some of them lead me to conclude that the authors have never known the kind of spiritual betrayal some Christians, including myself, have known. If they did, they could never write the pabulum they are selling.

A diverse collection of books—L. Gregory Jones's Embodying Forgiveness, Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Ethics, Simon Wiesenthal's The Sunflower, Miroslav Volf's Free of Charge, and Desmund Tutu's No Future Without Forgiveness—offer honest help for my unforgiving heart. These writers grapple with the call to forgive in the face of real evil. They understand that pop psychology and cheap theology are no match for it. The murderous societies under which most of them suffered find their Christian complement in churches that, for example, allow or ignore the sexual abuse of children and punish those who call the abusers to account.

I'm certainly not unique in having a long history with clergy misconduct ("Sorrow But No Regrets," Christianity Today, July 2007). Perhaps I have the distinction of having walked with a sex-abuse survivor and her family in their quest for justice in a famous mega-church whose leaders vilified them for their decision to prosecute—and of having faced similar treatment for reporting a suspected pedophile in this church ("Day of Reckoning," CT, March 2007).

Two years after my husband resigned his pastoral position there due to systemic corruption, our firstborn child died by suicide ("In the Valley of the Shadow of Suicide," CT, April 2009). I hold certain church leaders responsible for a multiplicity of sins, beginning with false advertising and ending with causing many little ones—including my own—to stumble.

Niebuhr's moral equivalency statement asks me to place my sins on par with those of sexual abusers and their accomplices. I instinctively don't believe it. Nor do I believe that the difference between the sins of "the good man and the bad man" is insignificant in God's eyes.

One only needs to read the parable of the Prodigal Son to see that God acknowledges a difference. When the obedient older brother asks his father why he had never slain "even a young goat" (Luke 15:29) on the son's behalf, the father explains that his younger son was dead, but is now alive, was lost, but is now found. That's a significant demarcation—one that describes not only the father's love but also the sinner's repentance.

In Matthew 18:1-10, Jesus teaches a familiar lesson that contrasts unbridled ambition with undefiled faith. It includes a dire list of consequences for those who harm the undefiled. "[W]hoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me," he says. "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." That's strong language. Jesus continues by admonishing the guilty to mutilate body parts that cause them to sin rather than have their bodies and souls thrown into hell. "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones," the gentle Savior warns. "For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."





Christianity Today


  


Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required.

Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only.

If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.


Click here for international orders2-for-1 Gifts!

Displaying 1–5 of 45 comments

Beady Blossom

November 04, 2010  7:04pm

Forgiveness is a struggle but I know that eventually I can forgive but I must walk thru the anger and resentment first.I have just watched 2 families destroyed by adultery and the ones who committed it were a Bible study leader and Christian business leader who was influential in missionary and educational circles. They knew what they were doing was wrong and continued to do it. Right now I cannot look at them in the eye because I know I must work thru my anger first. It is a process. I know that my Lord will deal with them and I am responsible for my attitude and feelings. Years ago, my father as a pastor had to go with the leaders of another church and confront the pastor on his infidelity. He was not repentant and his wife made the comment that he had done this before and would never leave her which he didn't and he went and served at another church. In this age of internet I do believe his reputation would have followed him and prevented him from serving.

Bill Smith

November 03, 2010  7:58pm

In a comment below, Jeff Martin said: "The Bible nowhere says to forgive people who have not repented." Jeff, the Bible does not provide believers with a road map on how to respond to every conceiveable type of situation. But Jesus did tell us that we should love our neighbors just as we love ourselves. (This was his summation of the entire 10 commandments.) To search the Bible for specific advice leads to legalism at best and Pharisaical behavior at worst.

Judith Warren-Brown

October 29, 2010  8:42pm

Forgiveness means that we no longer hold the offender in our debt. It does not mean that we deny or forget the pain of the offense. It does not mean that the offender should be allowed to forego justice or consequences for the offense. It does not mean that the offender is absolved from an apology or repentance. It is not the same as reconciliation which takes the honest and whole hearted participation of both parties. Having said that I do see that "Christian forgiveness must at once be an expression of commitment to a way of life, the cruciform life..." as Gregory Jones stated.

archae ologist

October 27, 2010  5:03am

as i keep reading i see too many people looking for their own interpretation and not the truth of scripture. there is only one truth and one verse does not over-rule all the rest on the topic. so people need to get away from the existential influence that has been allowed into the church and go back to seeking the truth.

jeff martin

October 26, 2010  10:15pm

Kimberly, Trust me, it is not hard for me to understand your point of view, but it actually does disservice to God in that God is the only one who could take our place. We are not able to forgive the unrepentant in that way. We must let God take that unique spot for His glory alone

You must be a Christianity Today subscriber or have created a FREE registration to post comments
[Browse More Christianity Today]



War and Peace

War and Peace

Pastor Tullian Tchividjian survived a leadership coup by finding rest in the liberating power of the gospel.

Facing Fears

Facing Fears

Max Lucado employs preaching to overcome fear.

more | current issue

Christian Bible Studies

Unbalanced Blessings

Unbalanced Blessings

The balancing act of...

Books & Culture

Quiet

Quiet

Shhh! Introverts working...

Preaching Today

NFL Star Junior Seau Searched for Peace

Small Groups

Prepare with Prayer

Prepare with Prayer

Don't leave out this...

Search
Search
Search
Scripture Search
Go Deeper