What Julie (May 16, 2012 2:41am) wrote is good stuff. If you didn't read it, do so! I'll not repeat it here. My purpose here is to add to what another mentioned. When I saw the photo, the words out of my mouth were "Oh yuck," and NOT because I saw a breastfeeding child. This picture does not show a breastfeeding child. Additionally, if this photo conveys anything about the health of this child's attachment to his mother, I would guess it unhealthy. What I see is a young boy being sexual with his mother. This is child porn and exploitation of this child (AKA abuse). TIME stirred up the subject of parenting styles. I wonder that we are so blind to the more critical subject, the exploitation of our children, right before our eyes on the cover of TIME.

As introduction, I breastfed my three children; all voluntarily weaned themselves by the age of 16 months. People often say breastfeeding is "natural" but so are several other actions and functions involving the body, with at least one (sex) involving another person, and none of those other practices are acceptable for public viewing. Let's not discuss breastfeeding practices as right or not right because it's "natural." Attachment parenting is a philosophy well-companioned with many of the ideas taught by Dr. Benjamin Spock. While it's true we don't, or shouldn't, openly criticize or counteract other people's parenting (unless, of course, their child is running rampant around our dining room or biting our own offspring) we can, as Christians, discuss parenting approaches and the upbringing of children in light of an all-powerful God and each person's need to recognize His authority over ever aspect of his/her life.

Breastfeeding is the only healthy normal and natural thing for us. The time magazine cover is all about controversy and shock value. No one should ever , under any circumstance breastfeed their child past the time they bite mommy with teeth and cannot physically be sustained by calorie or volume of mothers milk. TIME will go bankrupt if we all agree that they were irrelevant 10yrs ago, and just stop buying it.

As I read this blog post and accompanying comments, I thought about my own parenting journey which began sixteen years ago when my son was born.  I now have three kids, and our family journey has taken us across the globe, where we serve as missionary teachers in Ukraine. I came to Ukraine, nine years ago, as a mom, and ...ummm... a fairly proficient obsessive self doubter/self justifier, really wanting that "good mommy" title.   Desperately loving my kids, wanting to give them the healthiest upbringing I could, and wanting to be affirmed in this were the strands that were all tangled up together in my heart. The amazing route God has taken me on, was to a culture in which, by and large, people are much more opinionated and outspoken than most Americans are comfortable with.  Talk about what a stress case I was, especially in the first years. Not only did I hear all kinds of advice from many new friends here, but also the missionary community has its views as well.  I felt and still often feel like I live in a fishbowl. So I could be constantly offended or crushed if I wanted to be. There are plenty of opportunities.  Or at least I could keep focusing on myself,  regularly trying to assure myself that I am a good mom.  But the angle God took with me surprised me.  He drew my attention to my pride.  He whispered that deep and embarrassingly simple truth that it's not about me.  That it wasn't in expending enormous amounts of energy making sure I felt like good mom, that would enable me to love and raise my kids, help me feel God's pleasure in me, or bring contentment to my soul.   Something John Piper said in a little book of his, "the Dangerous Duty of Delight," helped to clarify for me what was at the root of my worry or insecurity. He says that one thing delighting in God does for you is to reveal that arrogance and self-pity are both manifestations of basic human pride. Provocative thought for me.  He writes, "Boasting is the response of pride to success.  Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering (I might add here, failure or fear of failure)... The reason self-pity does not look like pride is that it appears to be so needy. The need arises from a wounded ego.  It doesn't come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness.  It is the response of unapplauded pride." So what was behind my need to be seen and affirmed as a good mom?  I guess I had to start with this heart issue before I could respond to my mommy insecurities-  before I could respond to my (perceived) opinionated support community, to my helpful friends, to a whole new culture with far more in-your-face opinions than I had ever encountered.  When does anyone say that insecurity is pride?  Lack of self-esteem means that we do everything possible to affirm not bring up another change, right?  I guess the simple Sunday school lesson that God hit me with was, i am supremely valuable to Him, but not because i am good, or do good.  Duh! yes, i know this! Really? So what if someone suggests doing something that I am not doing, or points out something they think I should change?   What hurts me if my honest response needs to be, " actually I have thought through what I am doing and I believe I am doing what I should do," or conversely "I am not thrilled with the way that was put forward, but maybe I do need to do something differently." or what if I even need to say, "I have really approached this whole issue in the wrong way."  Would any of these responses kill me? The Holy Spirit may prompt any of these responses in me, and I also believe that the sharpening we receive in the body of Christ as we love one another will regularly include any of these latter responses to any of these former situations. Piper's book is meant to spur us on toward "Christian hedonism." Delighting in God is where my heart will find rest, joy, freedom...not in the affirmation that I am fulfilling a role well in anybody's eyes, including my ...

Thanks so much for this post. I couldn't agree with you more. We can be enriched as we honestly dialogue with other parents and understand the reasoning behind their choices -- even if we determine to parent in another way. Some days, being a mom is just super-duper hard -- and there's common ground we can find in that struggle, even if one is an attachment parent, one is a moderate cry-it-out parent, one is a working parent, or one is a stay-at-home parent. We need grace, encouragement, and empathetic community! I'm blessed to have friends who mother quite differently than me. Though it's true that big differences can cause tension, I don't believe it's true that they must sink friendships. If we're _prideful_ about our own choices, then yes, we'll judge other moms and eventually probably drop them as friends. But if we come to relationships with humility, a willingness to learn, and a quiet confidence in our own choices, we can be blessed... and put the war to rest.

I love this post. Thank you. The mommy wars are so exhausting. Its hard enough each day to tackle my own self doubts but to read everyone else's opinions online, in magazines, or just the random strangers in the grocery store line is too much! My mother in law tells me very often that she thinks I do such a good job with our children. I know she doesn't always agree on every detail of what we do with them, but she trusts the job I am doing and her praise means the world to me. I want to grow in trust of what my friends do with their children, even when I think I would do it differently. Most of us moms just need encouragement, not another opinion!

Lynda said it best. How blatantly obvious an attempt to bolster sagging ratings/sales - notice that the real subject of the cover story, Dr. Sears, is conspicuously absent from the cover! He's not nearly as sexy as the slim blonde mom, I'm guessing without having seen his photo. And of course he lacks certain equipment. But the one question that keeps coming to me is, where are the fathers/husbands in this story? I'll admit that as a non-subscriber to Time, I was not able to read the entire article (and I didn't think it was worth the fee just to do so) so perhaps my answer is contained therein. At any rate, America gets excited - again! - and in a very short while we'll find something new to blow up the Internet.

One thing I wonder -- what is this kid going to think about this photo when he is in high school? Parenting is unique to families. We have no idea what is best for someone else's kids and we never know the whole story. We can agree to disagree and just support each other. The hard part comes when you are on the receiving end of judgment from another believer. When that happens just give them grace knowing that person has no clue about what is really going on. Don't try to explain it either. Life is too short for that and parenting is too tough.

I don't see this cover photo as "fuel for the mommy wars". I see it as attention-seeking MILITANCY in the mom's glaring look along with the in-your-face caption, "Are you MOM ENOUGH"....and I see it as exploitation of an innocent child that borders on porn. What pre-teen or teenage boy wants to have this picture thrown in his face to be laughed at and mocked by other kids for "sucking mommy's ****s" because the picture was sent across the globe on world wide web and the magazine is/was on the school library magazine display rack???? My sons would run away and never come back if they saw that I had publicly EXPOSED them in such a way as this! This cover picture and caption is not about breastfeeding nor about extending it beyond the amount of time most Americans breastfeed. It is purely for shock value to get people to buy the magazine that conveniently won't be kept behind the counter with the other porn mags. It's also to display the mom, who's NOT a saggy, flabby, long denim-jumper-wearing granola mom....who's struggling to get more work as a model. This magazine is in the dumpster and this is a last-ditch effort to revive its sales. I feel sorry for this little boy when this comes up at school in mockery that will not end. That cover will be googled for the next 20 years, and it will be available. But that's what Time Magazine wants.

I'm with Mr. Magazine - I love the picture on this cover. It's gripping and really drew me in, really caused me to reflect "Is this okay? Why/why not? What reactions do I have and why?" I think it stimulates deeper thinking and conversation. As to the headline, I sort of appreciated that they made the question, "Are you mom enough?" explicit. It's implicit in so many conversations around parenting, including ones that have happened on this blog (the two posts on the "cry it out" question a few months back come to mind). When I see it stated as such, I feel I'm able to answer "No, I'm not mom enough! And that's totally fine!" All that being said, in the end my headline of choice would probably be "This lovely woman is totally fine with her parenting choices, and you are probably doing just fine too."