Jodie Foster became my hero this week.
She demonstrated remarkable courage during her seven-minute speech as she accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award at the Golden Globes Sunday evening, but not for the reasons that have gotten the most attention.
Reactions to her oddly rambling, obliquely confessional words are all over the map. Most of the virtual ink spilled about the speech has focused how she spoke about her sexual orientation in terms of (choose one) coming out / kinda sorta coming out / the coming out she'd actually done years ago. Others have questioned the logic of her pleas for privacy from the very public stage of an awards show.
Frankly, those decisions don't earn Ms. Foster a place on my hero list. But the words she used to end her speech do: "Jodie Foster was here, I still am, and I want to be seen, to be understood deeply, and to be not so very lonely."
That frank and fragile confession is the most daring thing I've heard a public figure say in a long, long time. Bottom line, isn't what Foster wants exactly what each one of us wants? To be known, to be cherished…and not to be so very lonely?
Sandip Roy, a Bollywood reporter, honored Foster's courage with these words:
At the Golden Globe awards, lifetime honoree Jodie Foster revealed something a Bollywood celebrity would never ever 'fess up to.
She came out.
Not as a lesbian. I mean she did come out as a lesbian. Well, sort of, without saying those actual words. It was a "I am not necessarily lesbian but my (ex)girl friend is" kind of coming out.
What really moved me was that she came out as "lonely." It was not a sort of lonely-at-the-top bravado. Or even a poor little rich kid self pity. It was just plain darn run-of-the-mill lonely.
Most of the time, we are uncomfortable with admitting to run-of-the-mill loneliness in our own lives. We don't dare verbalize that existential or emotional state, lest others think there is something terribly wrong, something toxic, broken, and contagious, with us. Lonely people are needy people. Needy people frighten away less needy people… or those who are better at hiding their neediness.
The formula becomes even more complicated for Christians, who are by definition no longer alone. Though Scripture acknowledges our experiences of lonelinessand social and spiritual isolation, the prospect of verbalizing loneliness to another person or group of people at church can be shame-inducing.
We may fear that others will see our confession of loneliness as a sign of social or spiritual failure. What if our loneliness scares others away from us? Worse yet, what if well-meaning church members try to fix us? These attempts at repair may imprint a lonely person with one of two labels: "project" or "pariah."
The truth is, lonely people can be an uncomfortable reflection of our own unprocessed fears of isolation or abandonment. In God's kingdom, there is no separate neighborhood for projects or pariahs. Lonely people—each one of us—have equal status as welcomed, wanted members of his community.
This community offers a stark contrast to the kind of no-commitment water cooler camaraderie for which we settle in our culture. In her speech, Foster noted our Honey Boo Boo-like tendencies toward exhibitionistic and voyeuristic behavior. We are far more comfortable with filmed "confessions" of outrageous behavior from Real Housewives, bearded Duck Dynasty magnates or stilettoed Kardashians than we are with an honest expression of loneliness.
The rumor of an impending confession from disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong is the kind of non-Foster-like confession that will likely follow the pattern of other celebrities who come clean about their grimy behavior only when they are cornered and facing financial loss and/or litigation. These kinds of confessions often seem to add another layer of camouflage to a celebrity's persona. It's as though they simply add a new mask to the disguise he or she has been wearing all along.
Jodie Foster, an actress who has spent 47 years behind a performer's façade, fumbled a bit as she tugged at the strings of her mask during her Golden Globes speech. But the mask came off in the final moments of her speech as she moved beyond confessing her choices to voicing her loneliness.
She may not have thought of her words on Sunday night as a prayer. I did. And I echo them today for each one of us who longs not to be so very lonely for to the One who knows us, cherishes us, and promises he will never, never leave us alone.
Paul Drinkwater / NBC / AP
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Ralph
I can understand the case of loneliness even as a believer. As a single person striving towards holiness it becomes a up hill battle as all those around you are younger, or married. The Church in general is not doing it's job of dealing with this issue. As an only child it is even harder because all of my life I have been alone. My prayers go out to Jodie because as a human being she deals with these life challenges just like anyone else. Though I know I am never alone because the Holy Spirit is with me and in me, the human touch is always needed.
a s
when you are lonely because you wont give up your money or your job or a relationship seeped in sin you will be lonely. she is honest. i can't say a hero. it is extrodinary easy to follow your every whim desire and ungodly urge. Sin makes you more lonely because you isolate yourself from community and find other rebels to sit with you, but you never fill the heart ONLY God can do that neither man or women, but i would prefer for her it to be a man.
Kathleen Mch
Coming out as gay is not a confession, as there is nothing to apologize for. Coming out is an act of confirmation. Foster's only confession might have been in why she waited so long when her sexual orientation has been well known for nearly 2 decades.
J Wang
Wow, well said! Thank you for pointing out Jodie Foster's honesty about her aloneness in the world because I did not catch this in the news clips that were shown about her speech. I didn't know she ended her speech with those poignant words. It was indeed very brave of her. I too appreciate her stark honesty and I will pray for her that this is not where her story ends but that it will be a starting point for her to seek out and find the God who created her and who loves her and knows her deeply already. You can see so plainly in her testimony what happens to us when we choose to turn our backs on God and how we then unwittingly fall into a life of profound loneliness no matter how successful and famous we are (even if we get the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award). May she and each one of us observing her make a better choice.
Rachel Stephan Simko
I can definitely see the confession as a prayer, whether or not she realized she was uttering a prayer at all. However, I do think it's a little strong to label her as a "hero." Of course, that's my opinion and you have every right to choose your own heroes. :) It just really saddens me. I understand loneliness is part of being human, and our only saving from loneliness is through Jesus Christ -- and I understand this on a very visceral, personal level. However, when I hear others confess it (and not just Jodie Foster, but I'm also thinking of very close, dear friends), it makes me weep -- sometimes very literally. Because even with knowing the answer to that loneliness, so many people cannot see it because, as of yet, they have not been given eyes to see. And my soul aches for them to see. rachel (evenonesparrow.blogspot.com)
S Griffin
I find it hard to consider any atheist a hero/heroine.
vic jones
It's hard to believe that someone with the status of Jodie Foster could ever be lonely. She had the checklist for happiness according to the world's standard - stardom, wealth, physical beauty, and much more. Foster's "coming out" (confusion seems to be the better term) was no prayer, nor was it heroic by any means. Her confession simply expresses the truth of another confession from Augustine, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in you.” Every person, even stars like Jodie Foster, searches in vain to fill a God-shaped hole in the soul until he/she is found by God.
James Stevenson
It will be interesting how the Supreme Court interpret same sex marriage. My personal view is that same sex marriage; lesbian and homosexual behavior should be tolerated from a civil perspective within the context of the Constitution if for no other reason than it allows people to pursue their happiness and as far as I know it really does not affect anyone else. However from a Christian standpoint I do not believe that the Christian church should dignify such marriages. Individually, as professing Christians, we/they are accountable to God and His ultimate judgment. Churches condoning same sex marriage, and allowing gay pastors, are in my opinion, operating outside the bounds of biblical teaching and Christian standards As a Christian I cannot accept that this behavior should be tolerated by Christian organizations who base their faith on the word of God.
James Stevenson
It will be interesting how the Supreme Court interpret same sex marriage. My personal view is that same sex marriage, lesbian and homosexual behavior should be tolerated from a civil perspective within the context of the Constitution if for no other reason than it allows people to pursue their happiness and as far as I know it really does not affect anyone else. However from a Christian standpoint I do not believe that such marriages should be dignified by the Christian church. Individually, as professing Christians, we/they are accountable to God and His ultimate judgement. Churches condoning same sex marriage, allowing gay pastors are, in my opinion, operating outside the bounds of biblical teaching and Christian standards and as a Christian I cannot accept that this behavior should be tolerated by Christian organizations who base their faith on the word of God.
J Thomas
If were at the point where honest confession of commonalities of the human experience are foreign and savored like Truth despite the idolatry, then we are farther down the narcissistic slippery slope then I would have imagined just 10 years ago. Everything around us is fake, and increasingly so. What a strange world we blindly wandered into.
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