Our lives are built one small brick at a time, ordinary day by ordinary day. With each little expression of thoughtfulness we create something of immense significance—character, both our own and that of others.” So says author Donald McCullough, an ordained minister and president of San Francisco Theological Seminary, in Say Please, Say Thank You (Putnam). It is a witty, wise, and sometimes daring book (do you really want your teenager hearing McCullough’s counsel to “Tell white lies”?). The proverbial insights start in the chapter titles for the Table of Contents, reprinted here. Read them, and take their wisdom to heart. That is, please read them—and thank you.
01. Say Please: Respecting the freedom of others
02. Say Thank You: Acknowledging dependence on others
03. Tell White Lies (Occasionally): Protecting from unnecessary hurt
04. Don’g Let Your Fingers Do the Talking: Curbing the violence within
05. Don’t Show Up at the Wedding in a Baseball Cap: Showing respect with what you wear
06. Don’t Be Late: Guarding the time of others
07. Respondez, S’il Vous Plait: Being considerate of others’ plans
08. Wait Until Everyone Is Served Before You Pick Up a Fork: Observing the social significance of meals
09. Keep Your Feet Off the Coffee Table: Valuing the property of others
10. Keep Your Bumper Off My Tailpipe: Waiting your turn
11. Hold Your Wind: Trying not to offend with bodily grossness
12. Pay What You Owe: Rendering others their due
13. Keep Your Hands to Yourself: Acknowledging sexual boundaries
14. Be Quiet in Church: Cultivating a sense of reverence
15. Don’t Wear Red to a Chinese Funeral: Honoring our differences
16. Apologize When You’ve Blown It: Accepting responsibility for your failures
17. Use Nice Stationery: Attending to the forms of communication
18. Close Your Mouth and Open Your Ears: Learning to be a good listener
19. Be First to Reach for the Tab: Developing a generous spirit
20. Leave a Tip Worth Working For: Noticing those who serve
21. Go Home Before Your Host Falls Asleep: Not abusing the gift of hospitality
22. Hang Up the Phone During Dinner and Bedtime: Avoiding unnecessary intrusions
23. Kneel Down to Speak with Children: Meeting others at their own level
24. Respect Your Elders: Honoring those who nurture and lead
25. Watch What You Say: Understanding the power of words
26. Don’t Leave a Messy Campsite: Cleaning up after yourself
27. Keep a Secret: Earning the trust of others
28. Don’t Let Your Dog Romance My Leg: Remembering not everyone shares your interests
29. Stop Drinking While You Can Still Remember Your Mother’s Maiden Name: Bestowing the benefits of moderation
30. Stay Out of the Bay Until You Know the Difference Between a Starboard and a Port Tack: Learning and obeying the rules of the road
31. Don’t Tell Jokes at the Expense of Others: Forbearing humor that demeans
32. Keep Card Companies in Business: Remembering milestones
33. Tell Your Buddy His Fly Is Open: Speaking the truth in love
34. Pretend You Don’t Notice When Your Dinner Partner Drools: Strengthening the bonds of community
35. Wave to Motor Boaters: Strengthening the bonds of community
36. Once in a While, Be a Slob: Knowing when to break the rules
Copyright © 1999 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.
