Pastors

After the Breakup

When I divorced 20 years ago, I couldn’t find a Christian support group for divorced people. There were groups that could help psychologically, but I couldn’t find one founded in the Bible and prayer. Without faith-centered assistance, I felt a huge emptiness.

Later, when I joined my church’s staff, we searched for something that would minister to the divorced from a uniquely Christian perspective. We discovered DivorceCare, a 13-week program that helps divorced people minister to divorced people.

Each session begins with a video presentation from an expert like Larry Burkett, Tony Evans, or Les Carter. The local church leader—who must also have suffered divorce—then facilitates discussion and prayer. Since 1993 more than 8,000 churches in 22 countries have been equipped to host DivorceCare groups. The nearest group can be found at www.divorcecare.com.

Our ministry has welcomed men and women from inside and outside the church, some in the process of divorce, some who have been divorced for many years.

The reaction of one attender: “I couldn’t have gotten through without our group. The rest of the world tells me to ‘get on with my life,’ but when we’re together, we know it takes time to hurt and time to heal. I feel loved again.”

The greatest healing comes from helping each other. It has been particularly helpful to combine men and women in the same group to affirm that divorce hurts everyone and to avoid villainizing the opposite sex. Mostly, the group provides answers and support. But we have also seen some couple reconcile and remarry.

Cathy Cryer is the director of caring ministries at Hosanna! Lutheran Church in St. Charles, Illinois. To find out more about DivorceCare, call 1-800-489-7778 or visit www.divorcecare.com.

Copyright © 2002 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.

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