Books

Why Commitment Matters

Stop Dating the Church says Joshua Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Stop Dating the Church
Stop Dating the Church
Stop Dating the Church: Fall in Love with the Family of God by Joshua Harris Multnomah Publishers 144 pp., $12.99

Are we a nation of “believers” but not “belongers”? Bestselling author Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) turns his attention here to our lack of commitment to church and offers ideas for relating to the family of God.

Harris admits he once played the “dating game”: enjoying the social benefits of church but not wanting the responsibility that came with real commitment. Church-daters tend to be me-centered, independent, and critical, he writes. “We can’t use the excuse,” he writes, “that the church has messed up too many times or that we’re disillusioned.”

He looks at how God views the church, what keeps us from committing to it, and what happens when we make church a priority.

Harris provides a checklist of 10 important questions to help someone consider what church to commit to. He also includes ideas about when leaving a church is justified.

Committing to a church “doesn’t tie us down; it anchors us in the storm of life. And even its faults become an opportunity for us to love and serve.” Harris’s enthusiasm for this needed message is infectious.

Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Related Elsewhere:

Stop Dating the Church is available from Christianbook.com and other book retailers.

The book has its own website.

More information is available from the publisher.

At Joshua Harris’s website you can learn what else Harris quit dating, hear him preach, and read his blog.

Harris is senior pastor at Covenant Life Church outside Washington D.C.

Also in this issue

The CT archives are a rich treasure of biblical wisdom and insight from our past. Some things we would say differently today, and some stances we've changed. But overall, we're amazed at how relevant so much of this content is. We trust that you'll find it a helpful resource.

Cover Story

Wooing the Faithful

Tony Carnes

Cover Story

John Kerry's Open Mind

Mark Stricherz

Salt-and-Pepper Politics

Jon Warren: Eyewitness to Suffering

Denise McGill

Land of Warlords

Mark Stricherz

Living with Fundamentalists

Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

Mei-Chun Jau: Community Journalism

Denise McGill

Not Far from the Brahmin Tree

Mark Stricherz

Ordinary Terrorists

Jeff M. Sellers

Pick Your Shibboleths Wisely

Daniel A. Crane

Poetry, Parables, and Prose

Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

News

Quotation Marks

Sin and Evil

Compiled by Richard A. Kauffman

John H. White: Mercy Over Justice

Denise McGill

Second-Best Kid Lit Ever

Reviewed by Douglas LeBlanc

Senate's Top Democrat in the Cross Hairs

Collin Hansen

Smuggling Cats for a Gay Celebrity

Jonathan David Taylor

The Ecstatic Heresy

Robert Sanders

The Moral Home Front

The Nightmare of North Korea

Kang Hyeok

Wind of Terror, Wind of Glory

Daniel Tomberlin

Wind of Terror, Wind of Glory

Daniel Tomberlin

A Heartless Homeland

Gregg Chenoweth & Tricia Miller

News

<em>Christianity Today</em> News Briefs

By CT staff

News

Passages

By CT staff

Wire Story

Charley's No Angel

RNS, CT staff reports, and Baptist Press

LDS and DNA

By John W. Kennedy

Operation Human Rights

Building Alliances to Save Lives

An interview with Allen D. Hertzke

Fighting Flight

Kevin Begos

Church Militant

Bob Smietana

'Termites to National Security'

Tony Carnes

A Stopped Pulse

CT Staff

Ordinary Terrorists

Jeff M. Sellers

News

Go Figure

Blogging for Jesus

Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

California's Prop. 71 Stem-Cell 'Scam'

Sheryl Henderson Blunt

Changed by the Unchanging

Reviewed by Cindy Crosby

From Sex Pistols to <em>Shadowmancer</em>

Bob Smietana

Vegetarians in Paradise

Answered by Bill T. Arnold

Greg Schneider: God's Personal PR Firm

Denise McGill

Editorial

Heat Stroke

A Christianity Today Editorial

Good Shooters

Timothy C. Morgan

Editorial

It's Not About Stem Cells

A Christianity Today Editorial

Joanna Pinneo: Intimate Storyteller

Denise McGill

View issue

Our Latest

Make Faith Plausible Again

Bryce Hales

A peculiar hospitality can awaken faith in our secular contexts.

Public Theology Project

Russell Moore’s Favorite Books of 2025

CT’s editor at-large recommends a handful of biographies—from Augustine to Robert Frost—along with sci-fi, Stephen King, social media, and more.

The Priest and Social Worker Deradicalizing Jihadists in Prison

One Catholic and one Muslim, they disagree on the role of religion in their work in Lebanon, but are united in their aim.

News

Hong Kong Church Rallies After 60 Congregants Lose Homes in Deadly Fire

Joyce Wu

The territory’s worst fire in decades claimed more than 150 lives.

The Russell Moore Show

 Listener Question: N.T. Wright on the Parable of the Talents

N.T. Wright takes a listener’s question about the parable of the talents told in Luke 19, and why it’s not all that it seems.

Celebrating Christmas with Hot Chai and Crispy Murukku

Amid rising persecution, Indian Christians share Jesus’ love with friends and neighbors through delectable dishes.

My Top 5 Books on Christianity in Southeast Asia

Compiled by Manik Corea

Explore how the faith has flourished in Singapore, the Philippines, Indonesia, and other countries in this religiously diverse region.

Review

Today’s Christians Can Learn from Yesterday’s Pagans

Grace Hamman

Classicist Nadya Williams argues for believers reading the Greco-Roman classics.

Apple PodcastsDown ArrowDown ArrowDown Arrowarrow_left_altLeft ArrowLeft ArrowRight ArrowRight ArrowRight Arrowarrow_up_altUp ArrowUp ArrowAvailable at Amazoncaret-downCloseCloseEmailEmailExpandExpandExternalExternalFacebookfacebook-squareGiftGiftGooglegoogleGoogle KeephamburgerInstagraminstagram-squareLinkLinklinkedin-squareListenListenListenChristianity TodayCT Creative Studio Logologo_orgMegaphoneMenuMenupausePinterestPlayPlayPocketPodcastRSSRSSSaveSaveSaveSearchSearchsearchSpotifyStitcherTelegramTable of ContentsTable of Contentstwitter-squareWhatsAppXYouTubeYouTube