I confess: I am not a morning person. Once upright, my greatest challenge is to focus in the mirror while shaving. To help me through the early fog I usually flip on the morning news shows, which serve as a conversational Muzak.

But one recent morning the background conversation suddenly caught my full attention. The familiar wooly haired film critic was interviewing actress Liv Ullman. “There are no rules that can apply to [every]body and there [are] many kinds of truths,” Ms. Ullman was saying. “The one which is easiest and best to live by is your own, the core within yourself.” She concluded, “I never told my daughter that what I say is the truth.”

I stared at the screen, shaving cream dripping from my face. Ms. Ullman may well be an accomplished actress, but does the fact she is a screen celebrity also make her a philosopher for millions of morning TV viewers?

Soon after, I chanced upon a similar interview with Jerry Hall, rock star Mick Jagger’s live-in girlfriend who has borne him two children. Phil Donahue managed such weighty questions as, “Was it a surprise when you got pregnant?” to which Hall replied, “Oh, yes, I was just lying there.”

And here is Hall’s cave-woman formula for keeping her man: “As long as the house is clean and organized and they are fed and have plenty of sex they’ll never run away.”

Even God gets his turn on the celebrity circuit.

Rita Jenrette, whose claim to notoriety was posing nude after her congressman husband stumbled into Abscam, is back in the news: she’s found religion. While fervently hoping her conversion is genuine, one has to swallow hard over her suggestion that God is “neutral” about public nudity.

Or consider rock celebrity Prince, whose albums sell tens of millions. According to the ...

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