Scripture says to wait expectantly on the Lord. Day after day I did just that as I sat quietly in the early morning with my Bible open to Job and Psalms. I read Scripture and prayed honest, struggling prayers. I was desperate to hear some direction and assurance from God. More than a response to my unanswered prayer, I needed to reconnect deeply with him.
The more I read the Bible, the more I was confronted with my own pride. I was demanding that God answer my prayers in ways that I deemed best based on my limited understanding. One verse that really stuck with me was Isaiah 7:9: "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." I prayed, "Lord, I believe. Please help my unbelief."
Scripture helped me see faith through God's viewpoint. It opened my eyes to see that our faith is very important to God. Phrases such as "your faith which is of greater worth than gold," "without faith it is impossible to please God," and "when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" haunted me. One morning I sensed the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart. "I am God. Trust Me." I finally yielded my painful circumstance and my life anew to God's plan and his glory. I began to see God's grace as he tested my faith to strengthen it.
Life can be intensely difficult. At times trials can seem unbearable. I still live with the same circumstances that tested my faith many years ago. Yet God continues to show himself faithful to me and my family. He reminds me that my life is not my own, that there is a plan beyond what I can see, and that my faith means more to God than I can imagine.
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Excerpted from Leaders & Faith Crises, a new downloadable resource from Gifted for Leadership.