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February 12, 2012

Home > 2007 > May (Web-only)Christianity Today, May (Web-only), 2007
SoulWork
Surviving a Family-Wrecking Economy
What the church can do about working mothers.




Mother's Day is past, and mothers are back to work, some in the home, some outside of the home, some doing both. And that's something to ponder.



As we might have guessed, Mother's Day is not only good for mothers, it also helps the economy. To be exact, it's worth $15.7 million to retailers, according to the National Retail Federation. But it's not as helpful to as the mothers who, on Monday, went back to work. They earn an estimated $476 billion annually.

Without women in the workplace, "it's fair to say America's economy would grind to a halt." So says Jessika Auerbach in a recent USA Today piece. So also says Carol Evans, CEO and president of Working Mother magazine: "If the 71 percent of all women with children who work lose their ability or inclination to work, then we will have a loss of economic strength in this country."

Evans edits a magazine that helps working women manage the stress of having a job and being a mother. Auerbach has just written a book—And Nanny Makes Three: Mothers and Nannies Tell the Truth about Work, Love, Money, and Each Other—that empathizes with and encourages both working mothers and the women who take care of their children. They are two of millions who recognize (1) that working mothers are a reality in this economy and (2) that this reality is hard on mothers and children.

I'm not going to preach for or against mothers working. I know some mothers who absolutely should work. I know some who absolutely shouldn't. This decision is one requiring prudential judgment not sweeping moralisms. But in this culture, Mothers Day is not only a time to reflect on mothers' relationship to their children, but also their relationship to this culture, especially it is trying its best to exploit them—to not put too fine a point on it. Working out salvation in this culture goes hand in hand with working out how and when and where we work.

We live in an economy with an insatiable appetite for consumers. Consumers are those who have money to consume goods and services. So it is in the self-interest of this economy to create more jobs to manufacture more goods and services to generate more income so that more people can consume these goods and services. Is it a surprise that this economy not only now welcomes women into the workplace but is also utterly dependent on them for its survival? And that is has exponentially grown another industry—day care and nannies—to make working mothers possible? Which group will it next suck into its vortex, and how far will they be sucked?

This would be a "So what?" if it wasn't for the nearly obvious fact that it is good for mothers to spend lots of time with their young children. I need not marshal the many social and psychological studies that support this common sense—they are legion. Fathers also need to spend time with their children, but, all things being equal, no father can match the nurturing care that a mother gives. No father had a child grow inside him for nine months; no father experienced the bonding, redemptive pain of childbirth. Thus no father has an attachment to his children as does a mother.

And yet we've created an economy in which mothers—who have this remarkable and miraculous bond with their offspring—in some instances feel compelled to turn their children over to the care of relative strangers for the bulk of every day. These mothers get to spend only a harried few minutes with their children in the morning, and then an exhausted hour or two at night. Of course, they also get custody on the weekends. If the state had mandated such an arrangement, we'd cry, "Tyranny!"





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Displaying 1–5 of 51 comments

Ben

May 30, 2007  7:15am

My wife and I decided to try to live simply and split the young child raising phase between us - 3kids, 5 years each. Armed with my two masters degrees, I took my turn first. It's the toughest thing I've ever done, but the one accomplishment of which I am most proud. (I know it is a tough transition for educated or accomplished mothers too.) For all the rhetoric about mother is best, I would say that all things being equal, kids bond most with whichever parent is home with them. Also we discovered that I enjoyed the baby phase best, and my wife enjoys the older kids more, so it worked out great for us. Among my network of long-term at-home-dads, almost all the couples agreed that in their situation, the dad was best suited for the role of primary caretaker. Lest you confuse this with being effeminate, all my friends were quite macho, and one of them was a retired semi-pro rugby player from New Zealand. So friends, for men with the courage to be real men, there is another way.

Fiona

May 29, 2007  11:22pm

Good to see an article like this. Overdue. The church has intentionally stayed out of this debate for fear of offending those who do choose to work. Unfortunately, this has left many Christians struggling to find an alternative to the 'consumeristic' family model. We need to go further than encouraging and supporting mothers in their role, to actively teaching from the Bible what a life-creating, culture-changing, disciple-making role motherhood can be!

Michelle

May 29, 2007  12:28am

This article brought nothing new to the story of working moms. If anything I found it paternalistic. I've been in ministry now for over 15 years and have many stories to tell of women whose husbands have left them and are now struggling because they never worked during the child rearing years. Men can move on. Women are left to struggle because of no fault divorces, laws created by men which create extra burdens for women. It would really be nice to see Christian men stand up for what is right and work to change these laws.

Taeler Morgan

May 26, 2007  2:15pm

Shame on Galli for perpetuating the idea that mothers are the ones that should be held primarily responsible for being the stay at home parent. It is this type of thinking that allows Christian families to justify limiting God's work in their lives by refusing to acknowledge that God works as readily through wives as He does through husbands for the welfare of a family. If, instead of saying "mothers should, if financially viable for them, stay home to raise the children," we said "wives and husbands as partners should find ways to prioritze family togetherness" maybe we wouldn't have moms with kids in suburbia while dad's are commuting 2-4 hours a day. Father's share just as strong a bond with their kids but are relegated to 2nd class parenting citizenship, unless of course a "final decision" has to be made, I sure. Galli states that he isn't issuing a moral judgment on working mothers, but he is i that he assumes the best way to be a family starts with mom at home.

Been on both sides

May 20, 2007  5:39pm

While this is a very interesting topic, and one I have debated at great length, I don't think the author's tone or perspective really adds anything to the discussion. I left a very stable, government job to be an at-home mother and my family suffered greatly. My husband struggles with stable employment due to a disability and we lived in poverty for over 10 years. During this 10 years, I also homeschooled, trying to be the "perfect" Christian wife and mother. Frankly, it drove me into a deep depression because I knew that if I was working we would be so much better off. This past year my three children all entered public school so that I could work. Now we are all thriving. My youngest is half-time daycare because both of our jobs don't allow for us to care for her before Kindergarten. Her childcare providers aren't "strangers" but loved and cherished parts of our extended, friendship family.

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