My Life with Antidepressants | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

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Christianity Today, March, 2009

COVER PACKAGE

My Life with Antidepressants

They helped, at least in the beginning.

Joel Scandrett | posted 3/04/2009 10:23AM

Comments (18)

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Eight years ago, I started taking antidepressants. I was single and in the thick of a Ph.D. program in theology. The combination of academic stress, a solitary lifestyle, and a spiritually toxic environment sent me spiraling into the worst depression I had experienced since college. Fortunately, I'd gained enough hard-bitten experience with depression over the years to recognize what was happening and seek professional help.

Within a few sessions, my Christian therapist recommended antidepressants. I had never taken them before and was initially resistant, but my depression was so intense that I soon agreed to try them. The results were nothing short of miraculous. Within weeks, my depression had lifted. I no longer felt overwhelmed or that God was nowhere to be found. I was freed from confusion and emotional paralysis to make vital life decisions that led, among other things, to the marriage and family I now have. Antidepressants (combined with counseling) dramatically improved my life. And because my depression is hereditary, my therapist's recommendation that I continue taking them—indefinitely, if necessary—seemed like wise counsel.

I continued with the same regimen for the next six years. But slowly, I began to notice that the medication was affecting me in ways I didn't like. I found myself becoming cavalier and impatient, insensitive and spiritually complacent. The antidepressants kept me feeling good even when I should not have. Like George MacDonald's The Light Princess, I felt as if I were floating through life unaffected, enveloped in a pharmaceutical sphere of emotional impenetrability.

And so, a little over two years ago, I stopped taking antidepressants. I'm grateful for the way they helped me when I was in crisis, and would readily recommend them to others in similar circumstances. But I'm wary of the way they can inure us to compassion, sorrow, guilt, and regret—emotions that are essential components of spiritual maturity—and I'm alarmed at the way society increasingly views them as a cure-all. Antidepressants are a boon for those who truly need them, but they are not a panacea for the human condition.

Joel Scandrett is an Anglican priest and adjunct instructor of theology at Wheaton College.

Related Elsewhere:

This article and "Light When All is Dark" are part of Christianity Today's March cover package on "The Depression Epidemic."

Previous articles on depression and suicide include:

The Gospel According to Prozac | Can a pill do what the Holy Spirit could not? (August 1, 1995)

To Be Happy in Jesus | Are evangelical Christians really happier than their neighbors? (March 8, 2006)

Good Question: Is Suicide Unforgivable? | Question: What is the biblical hope and comfort we can offer a suicide victim's family and friends? (July 10, 2000)

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March 2009, Vol. 53, No. 3

Comments (18)

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Displaying 1–5 of 18 comments

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March 15, 2009 9:34pm

i've been on eLaviL For nearLy 11years and am thanKfuL for it. I can stiLL Laugh and cry. This is anoLder drug over 3O yrS. on the market.

Judith

March 11, 2009 9:11am

I suffered with depression and did not consult medical help, take antidepressants or anyother props. I did use valium and other sleping aids. I realised early that my depression was an attack form satan. I used the verse from Isaiah that says "He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him (God)". In fact God pointed out this verse at a seminar. I pursued with God in a deeper way and found intermittent relief from prayer and other spiritual activities.Once I actually senses a demon a few inches away from me trying to get in me to steal my sleep and joy. i rebuked it and found 90% relief. I still sink in every once in a while but use pray to keep afloat.Depression really hurts and can lead to suicide, anti social habits and a host of other pains. We in the church have a duty to send a message to the people about God's help. I do not propose that all depression comes from satan or that medical help is not useful.

H. Wagemaker,MD

March 09, 2009 7:44am

90 % of the patients I see as a psychiatrist are depressed. I treat them with antidepressants. Most of my patients do very well on them. Some of my patients need to be on them a long time. Depression is a product of genetics and brain chemistry. Medication changes brain chemistry. Theres a big difference between wellness and wholeness. Medication can cause wellness but not wholeness. Thanks for discussing depression. The incidence of depression is the same in the Christian community as it is among non Christians. Many Christians are not treated for their depression. Depression is treatable.

kstj

March 06, 2009 9:15am

I would have to agree with the other comments. I have been on antidepressants for over 25 years and if anything, they have given me the ability to empathize instead of being overwhelmed with intense fear and anxiety. I have tried to get off several times, only to fall back into a dark, anxiety-filled hole. Before antidepressants, my life was limited to situations which would not cause me enormous fear or panic, but after, a whole new world opened up and I was able to work, travel, drive, and do things ordinary people do. Many in my family suffer with panic disorder. Those who are treated are doing tremendously; those who are not are prisoners of their own home. To encourage others to stop taking medication does those who truly need it a disservice. God is now a vital part of my life; fear no longer dominates. I can concentrate on His word and prayer instead of thinking what will trigger my next panic attack. I'm a true believer that God gives us the tools to change our lives.

Robyn

March 05, 2009 4:18pm

Anti-depressants saved my life. Long-term antidepressant use is not for everyone, nor should it be. But for some people, with moderate to severe mental illnesses that are not related to life circumstances, these medications are necessary to sustain any quality of life. I must say that I have not experienced what this author describes when he says, "The antidepressants kept me feeling good even when I should not have...But I'm wary of the way they can inure us to compassion, sorrow, guilt, and regret—emotions that are essential components of spiritual maturity..." I experience a full range of emotions, including compassion, sorrow, guilt, and regret. Sometimes in the extreme. The difference is that these emotions are not destructive, as they were before. My basic personality hasn't changed. I am more ME now than I was before. It is only because of this disease being controlled by medication that I am now able to work toward spiritual maturity.

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