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May 26, 2012

Home > 2011 > June (Web-only)Christianity Today, June (Web-only), 2011
Tiger Dads vs. Sexualized Daughters
Why one of our parental duties is to protect our children physically and spirituality by teaching them to be modest.




Should you get Botox for your ten-year-old daughter? What would you think of breast augmentation for your eleven-year-old girl? These and similarly startling issues cropped up in a recent CNN column by LZ Granderson. Writing in an outraged style, Granderson tackled how parents allow the culture to sexualize their daughters. The piece, entitled rather prosaically "Parents, don't dress your daughters like tramps," began with a word of personal experience:

I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.
Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.

Granderson went on to note that the girl was eight years old and to denounce the corporate executives who planned such a product: "[H]ow do people initiate a conversation in the office about the undeveloped chest of elementary school girls without someone nearby thinking they're pedophiles?" he wondered. The concerned writer and parent reserved his sharpest words for parents, however. "It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute." Parents, after all, "are the ones who are suppose to decide what's appropriate for their young children to wear, not executives looking to brew up controversy or turn a profit." In the most memorable line of the article, Granderson concluded his denunciation by referencing Amy Chua's recent book: "Maybe I'm a Tiger Dad," he said. 

If he is, then America welcomes him. Roughly one week after posting, the piece had received over 440,000 recommendations or "likes" on Facebook, the meta-metric that measures all others, to say nothing of thousands of Tweets and e-mail forwards. The response to Granderson's column showed widespread approval of his basic argument, that little girls should not adopt an aggressively sexual identity at a young age (as did feedback from readers of a recent Wall Street Journal article). While many would agree with Granderson, the curious Christian can't help but think of a simple but important follow-up: why? Why shouldn't we sexualize our daughters?

The question sounds a bit cheeky, rather too obvious for public discussion. Were one to raise such a question in polite society, polling passersby at the local gym or the produce aisle in Whole Foods, he would meet shocked looks. The answer is obvious. Little girls aren't ready for sex. They can't handle it emotionally. Statistics correlate young sexual involvement with multiple psychological problems, including eating disorders and depression. It's just not right for girls to take on an explicitly sexual identity.

Evangelicals can give thanks that the culture, in God's common grace, does not generally conclude otherwise. Philosopher James Q. Wilson noted some years ago that people possess what he called a "moral sense," an instinct for right and wrong. Wilson grounded this view in Darwinian evolution, not Christian theology, but his contention rings true in light of Scripture. In our native state, we "suppress the truth," according to the apostle Paul (Rom. 1:18). Though the fall of Adam and Eve has scrambled our moral radar, we retain an instinctual awareness of right and wrong. Our conscience lives. As much as sin attempts to kill it, it regularly takes its revenge, leading a fallen humanity to act and think better than it knows.





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Displaying 1–5 of 18 comments

Kristian Owen

June 28, 2011  2:40pm

Why do men see women only as objects? Why is it not a double standard if a man was to get fat and lazy why dont women go out and cheat on the man instead of the other way around is it because that kind of mentality is usually reserved for men or that women can usually hold out I know I can

John Mitchell

June 24, 2011  5:28pm

And we wonder why boys see girls first and foremost as objects of sexual gratification; why feminists have advocated birth control and abortion as gateways to womens' sexual freedom; why marriage is quickly losing its appeal as the default lifestyle for adults? Mommy and Daddy need a gut-check on their own values before they start making wardrobe decisions for themselves, then they need to apply those values to the kids' appearance. Maybe, though, that's the source of this problem; Mommy dresses to wow other men and Daddy is too busy gawking at other women to notice anything is amiss!

david maurer

June 24, 2011  4:03pm

while i do not believe in 'fairy sky daddies', either, i wouldn't let my 14-year-old daughter dress this way, simply because it would make her a target for predators (and, apparently, members of the media). once she reaches adulthood, she is free to be as sexual as she chooses. i have confidence that we are teaching her to make good choices, just as our parents did. where the author crashes and burns, though, is his assertion that human beings have an innate sense of right and wrong. anyone who has studied sociology, anthropology, or psychology knows better. 'right' and 'wrong' are 100% taught, and vary markedly from culture to culture.

carlos chacon

June 24, 2011  1:46pm

Somehow, I'm really not sure but the man has made up this story of seeing a child that young dressed up in such a manner. I'm not saying he's lying but it seems similiar in genre to other made up stories of people suing a restaurant after throwing ice and water and then slipping on the floor. Yes, outragious horrifying, but why not ask the parents whats up with the crap she's wearing? I'm concerned about how he has chosen to address the problem - by using fear.

Maria Alvarez

June 24, 2011  1:45pm

Because a young girl has braids and dangly earrings does not mean she has been dressed immodestly! Teaching young girls to take pride in their appearance is NOT a sin! Remember, Man looks on the outside but GOD looks at the heart! Perhaps it was the observer that needs to re-think his interpretation of others!

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