Our eldest son is away from the Lord at this time in his life, and it is painful, as one parent described it above, "a painful journey." Early in our son's life, things grew increasing tense as he aged; reasoning with him became a continual struggle. Strangely, we never received any satisaction that he was "getting it" (whatever the "it" happened to be at the time.) Highly gifted in the academics department, yet lacking in common sense. I often questioned the Lord as to why He chose to create this brilliant young man for such simpletons as we us...ah me! Well, I know without a doubt that God knows best; He does! Our son, a couple of years after dropping out of college and leaving our home, decided to legally change his name. Talk about a dagger to the heart; boy, that's a whole other book to write. Well, the Lord has a way of putting things into perspective. Since that time three years ago, we just continue to love him, and tell him so via texting, or in person if we run into him. Our arms are out for him, if and when he comes to himself. I so often envision the father of the prodigal son standing on his doorstep looking into the distance, and waiting for the return of his son. I have to remember that this father did not send the bounty hunters to find him, or talk sense into him. He waited on God to do His work in this young man's life. We, too, wait, and pray. I am back to the point of putting words to my prayers, rather than sitting and just crying at the feet of Jesus. I've crawled up into His lap now, and feel His ear against my lips. I have felt His tears, too. He cares for our precious son even more than I or his Daddy can even begin to care and love. Our youngest son so loves the Lord, and when we compare the vastness in response to Christ that these young men have made in their lives, we realize even more this is not about us as much as it's about the grace of God. Our hope is in Him, alone. As our eldest finds ways of avoiding us at all costs, we know he is running from the Lord; we are quite certain he is doing so so he does not have to deal with his relationship with Christ. Perhaps not being near to us doesn't make him feel as guilty? We don't have answers, but we know the Lord does, and we have to totally lean on Him for understanding and how to continue showing Christ and His love. We covet your prayers.

It is the kids themselves to determine what they turn out to be. The parents can't determine the future of their kids.

1 Timothy 3:4-5 and Titus 1:6 are talking about while the child is under the supervision of their dad in the household. Once children leave they are no longer under the supervision of the dad. The Bible never tells parents to make sure their children turn out to be faithful Christians or that the parents are responsible for how their children turn out. The parents responsibility is to raise them up according to God's word.

It's great reading not only the article but the comments as well. For what it's worth, I'd like to share my understanding of Dr William Lane Craig's (Reasonable Faith) teaching on divine providence. He's commented that God has so placed each human being or has allowed each one of us to be placed in the best set of circumstances in history so that we can freely choose to believe in Him and in the Lord Jesus Christ. On this understanding, our children, prodigal or not, are/were still in the 'best' set of circumstances for them to believe in Christ. It may/might not look it to us, but by believing that God does not desire that any person perish, even though we bumble/bumbled along in parenting, His providence will have found a way to bring circumstances together that would give/have given our children the opportunity to believe. Trusting in God's divine providence, goodness, and fairness and that He searches hearts not externals is I believe our greatest comfort.

I find this article in itself a bit dysfunctional. First off, no parent "does everything right" and there is no reason at all to make a point that would indicate that some people might actually do everything right. It seems an out to give parents an excuse to not feel guilty or responsible for their actions as parents. As a parent of two I do find it largely my responsibility to raise children that learn to make good decisions instead of teaching my children what decisions to make. I make mistakes with them every single day in my attitudes and actions, so I'm not sure how someone could possibly come close to thinking that they are anywhere near great or perfect parents without daily mistakes. That seems to be a lack of acceptance. There is plainly a combination of nature and nurture that go into the raising of children but indeed Parents have a significant impact on the type character a child will have. It is not based on any formula just as the article suggests. It is based on the characteristics that Christ encourages through his words and behavior. That goes way beyond Bible verses. From the outside, not knowing John Piper personally, I would have guessed that his children would have major issues. I don't know but I assume he may have other children besides this son, whom people have identified as the "prodigal son". In my opinion this son is the fortunate one. Probably the other children who fell in line with Piper's use of fear, guilt and manipulation are the ones that will suffer more over the long term. Fortunately, we have a truly accepting and uncompromising Heavenly Father to love us. In the article I get the feeling that people are afraid to critique John Piper who is very human and did have perhaps the biggest role in Abraham's life. Statements like "if it can happen to Piper, it can happen to anyone" are elevating John Piper beyond human and it is unfair to John Piper and his family. He is very much a flawed human as we all are and he is also a very flawed parent as evidenced probably more so in the children you don't hear about than the one you hear about here.

It sure seems like John Piper and those writing about what happens with some children not following Christ seem to be forgetting that they are Calvinists. Isn't Calvinism a big part of being "reformed?" Calvinism teaches that God decides who becomes saved. With Calvinism there is no free will and God will give an "irresistible grace" to those He elects to salvation. If one believes in Calvinism then shouldn't the reason for some children not coming to Christ be that God didn't elect this person to salvation and nothing to do with parenting? I don't believe in Calvinism but find quite the contradiction between what the Reformed group such as John Piper claims to believe when they talk about parenting styles. If you believe what Calvinism teaches then you can't at all claim parenting style was a factor. It makes me wonder if this group really believes in what Calvinism teaches.

Love is like a fruit. It may look good, but you shouldn't bite in it until it's ripe. Italy Euro 2012 Jersey

I always tell myself and other anxious parents, "God loves your children more than you do."

Dear Linda, My heart hurt as I read what you shared about your son. My prayer is that what I am now sharing with you will bring you hope and comfort and PEACE. Over the last several years the Lord has shaken my earth and my heavens too....and what I mean by this is that all my knowledge ABOUT HIM (my heavens) has been shaken to its core...completely sifted, purged and purified....so that what cannot be shaken, CHRIST, remains. Christ. Not man's idea of Christ, not man's doctrine of salvation, not man's understanding of heaven and hell, of who is 'going' and who is not....no....all of that stuff....all the carnal minded understanding....has been burned up as chaff and has been blown away. All praise to the glorious name of Christ Jesus. What remains is this....He is who He says He is....THE SAVIOUR OF THE WHOLE WORLD....Jesus said, "If I be lifted up I will draw ALL MEN unto me"...ALL MEN...not just a few men...but ALL....He is the GOOD SHEPHERD and He will search and search until He finds that lost little lamb and brings that precious lost lamb back to Father's house. He is the mercy seat. He is the lamb of God that takes AWAY the sins of the whole world. His mercy triumphs over judgement and YES! every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of the Father! Please visit a wonderful website called HopeBeyondHell.net You can down-load the book Hope Beyond Hell for free. The book goes into great detail about what the words 'hell' and 'eternal, everlasting, eternity' really mean in the Hebrew and Greek. It is a book that will minister the life of Christ to you and set your heart free from condemnation and guilt. The peace and comfort of the Lord Jesus Christ to you.

We also adopted an infant at 8 weeks, loved her unconditionally and completely but have endured in the most recent past injury to our hearts by her instituted a boundary with us...won't let us call her, write her, etc...She is a beautiful, successful artist with a husband that gratefully provides for her and seems to cherish her. Yet, she finds us the place where the brokenness in her heart about her adoption, etc., is projected very painfully. She has terrible anger management issues and is very verbally abusive and hurtful. We feel we are simultaneously grieving the loss of a daughter and holding the door open, always. She is 42 and without children of her own. Next to her picture I have a plaque that says, Trust Me, child. I have it all under control. Love God. It helps some days.