Church Life

Porn’s Stranglehold

Seventy percent of American men ages 18–34 view Internet pornography once a month. This shocking fact is one of many that CT consulting editor John W. Kennedy found during his research for this month’s cover story, “Help for the Sexually Desperate” (page 28).

Don’t assume that porn isn’t a problem in the church. One evangelical leader was skeptical of survey findings that said 50 percent of Christian men have looked at porn recently. So he surveyed his own congregation. He found that 60 percent had done so within the past year, and 25 percent within the past 30 days. Other surveys reveal that one in three visitors to adult websites are women.

Porn is gaining a stranglehold on mainstream American culture. One reason is the false message that porn viewing is harmless and socially acceptable for the sexually frustrated. One reason it is not harmless is the number of casual porn viewers who end up sexually addicted. The term sexual addiction is only 25 years old. But it describes the very real problem of extreme sexual behavior that is destructive to self and others. In his research, John found that experts believe tens of millions of people are addicted to sex.

Stigma and fear work against Christians who wish to address this issue in the community of their church. John himself bears witness to this reality: He became motivated to write about sex addiction after his pastor stonewalled his request to start a confidential men’s accountability group. The pastor basically said this hot potato was too hot to handle. After much prayer, John decided to change churches; he then contacted CT to begin writing this article.

John’s thorough reporting grants church leaders an unprecedented look into the way men’s accountability groups function. One crucial element is creating a confidential context for full disclosure. John said, “I’m a guy. And just about everybody has struggled with this at one time or another. But we don’t talk about that at church usually.” Disclosure of sex addiction or porn use is so stigmatizing that it is best handled in a confidential, small-group setting in which participants agree not to pass judgment. They also grant each other “the right to call” 24/7 for unannounced check-ins.

“The thing that struck me the most in talking with these men is that I found an honesty rarely apparent in the church,” John told me. “These guys are real. They are transparent, honest, no bull, no plastic smiles.”

Some of John’s recommendations for starting a men’s accountability group include starting small, extending the group’s focus beyond sexuality only, and maintaining its Christian purpose. This reminds me of how distinctive Christian community is. “Because Christian community is founded solely on Jesus Christ, it is a spiritual and not a psychic reality. In this it differs absolutely from all other communities.” That comment from Dietrich Bonhoeffer perfectly sums up what faithful, risk-taking congregations offer a sexually obsessed society.

Copyright © 2008 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Related Elsewhere:

John Kennedy wrote “Help for the Sexually Desperate” and a short article on the Samson Society.

More articles on sexuality and gender are in our full-coverage section.

Also in this issue

The CT archives are a rich treasure of biblical wisdom and insight from our past. Some things we would say differently today, and some stances we've changed. But overall, we're amazed at how relevant so much of this content is. We trust that you'll find it a helpful resource.

Cover Story

Help for the Sexually Desperate

Carbonated Holiness

News

Sacred Harp Resurgence

News

Not Your Father's L'Abri

The Grace Escape

IRS Rules to Remember

California Dreams

Bookmarks

Why Evangelize the Jews?

Fiction from the Headlines

News

Bearing the Silence of God

Starter Books on Ancient-Future Faith

Death and Resurrection

Count Your Surprises

New Atheists Are Not Great

News

Why Culture War May Never End

Our Geopolitical Moment

Review

Haunting Salvation

News

Church in State

'These Guys Are Really Screwed Up'

Review

Pushing Daises

What Makes a Church Missional?

News

News Briefs: March 01, 2008

Editorial

Hating Hillary

The 8 Marks of a Robust Gospel

News

Go Figure

News

What <em>Reveal</em> Reveals

News

Passages

News

Quotation Marks

Q&A: John Dilulio

A Kinder, Gentler Shari'ah?

News

Capital Doubts

$300K Settlement

News

Premeditated Mobs

News

Taliban Targets

News

Foreign Correspondence

News

Post-Mayhem Woes

View issue

Our Latest

News

When a Stanford Bible Study Led to an AI Startup

Two young Christians made a college counseling tool, saying AI should serve those on the margins—not just the rich and powerful.

In Daniel, the ‘Writing on the Wall’ Is Both Clear and Mysterious

The four-word warning is outwardly simple. But layers of meaning lurk under the surface.

The Bulletin

Mobs, Movements, and MAGA with Roger Berkowitz

The Bulletin welcomes Roger Berkowitz for a conversation with Mike Cosper on political movements and the powerful draw of MAGA.

Being Human

A Central Park Slowdown with Steve

Steve Cuss talks about pretense and protection.

News

Vets in Ministry Won’t Retreat from the Military’s Suicide Crisis

Christians say the epidemic is about more than PTSD.

Excerpt

When Deities Promise Answers to Dating and Money Woes

Until the gospel starts explicitly addressing daily needs, most Taiwanese non-Christians will likely remain uninterested.

News

Space Force Hymn Lifts Prayer to the Heavens

Southern Baptist chaplain says God prompted him to write song for the newest branch of the US military. 

Beijing, Let My Daughter Come Home

Apple PodcastsDown ArrowDown ArrowDown Arrowarrow_left_altLeft ArrowLeft ArrowRight ArrowRight ArrowRight Arrowarrow_up_altUp ArrowUp ArrowAvailable at Amazoncaret-downCloseCloseEmailEmailExpandExpandExternalExternalFacebookfacebook-squareGiftGiftGooglegoogleGoogle KeephamburgerInstagraminstagram-squareLinkLinklinkedin-squareListenListenListenChristianity TodayCT Creative Studio Logologo_orgMegaphoneMenuMenupausePinterestPlayPlayPocketPodcastRSSRSSSaveSaveSaveSearchSearchsearchSpotifyStitcherTelegramTable of ContentsTable of Contentstwitter-squareWhatsAppXYouTubeYouTube