Got a question? Email advice@christianitytoday.com to ask CT’s advice columnists. Queries may be edited for brevity and clarity.
Q: My church has a new policy making every member take nursery shifts on a rotating basis. I volunteer other ways and don’t want to do this—but I also think there are bigger objections. Shouldn’t the people taking care of babies be good at it and happy to be there? And shouldn’t the kids get a stable and familiar group of caretakers? Also, we don’t run other volunteer rosters this way. I think these are valid objections, but maybe I’m being selfish. —Irritated in Illinois
Karen Swallow Prior: Involuntary volunteerism—even for church members, who are by definition called to serve the church body—strikes me as more than a little bit off. Thinking beyond this one case, there might be valid reasons a church member is unable to volunteer at all. (Age, infirmity, and illness come immediately to mind.) Will the church make no exceptions or some? Who will monitor this?
In terms of nursery service specifically, I agree that this opportunity (like some others) is best filled by those fitted with the matching gifts and desires. Of course, nursery service also ministers to parents, not just their children. Since this is the overarching purpose of the church nursery, the congregation might look for alternative solutions that fulfill that primary need.
More importantly, by making volunteering a requirement, the church undervalues its role in discipling, equipping, and motivating members to desire to serve in ways its congregation needs. A church that is united, cultivates relationships, and models service is more likely to develop members who want to serve where there is a need.
If that has yet to happen, then a requirement to serve in the nursery may be a short-term solution that will only bring longer-term problems that are a lot more difficult to resolve.
Illustration by Jack RichardsonKaren Swallow Prior lives in rural Virginia with her husband, two dogs, and several chickens. Following a decades-long vocation as an English professor, Karen now speaks and writes full-time.
Q: Recently my pastor began a deliverance ministry, practicing it before and after services and in community groups. I believe the Spirit is active and present in our lives but don’t see a biblical foundation for this. I’m concerned that it’s spreading fear and fixation on demonization. It feels like my previously solid church is losing its footing, and I feel lost. How should Christians address sudden theological shifts in church doctrine and practice? —Confused in California
Kevin Antlitz: While I can’t be sure how this particular ministry is being conducted, there is biblical warrant for ministry focused on freeing people from demonic influence or spiritual oppression. This was a big part of Jesus’ earthly ministry, and it seems clear that he expected his Spirit-filled disciples, who observed the way he lived and loved, to continue this kind of work (John 14:12).
I’m showing my theological cards here, and Christian traditions differ on exactly what that continuity should look like. But I think deliverance ministry is absolutely within bounds for churches.
That said, any change in the church can be confusing and painful. If not led well, changes can produce serious conflict and even church splits. Your church leadership bears responsibility for managing this change in healthy ways—by teaching on it and creating space for the congregation to ask questions. Good change often happens slowly and should always be done carefully and transparently.
Even if you believe your church’s leadership hasn’t managed this well, I encourage you to talk with your pastor. Take a curious posture while sharing your concerns, maintaining peace as far as it depends on you (Rom. 12:18). If all else fails, it may be that the church is no longer a great fit for you. A good pastor will understand that and bless you as you find a new church home.
Jack RichardsonKevin Antlitz is an Anglican priest at a Pittsburgh church positively overflowing with kids. He and his wife have three young children who they pray will never know a day apart from Jesus.
Illustrations by Ben HickeyQ: My small group has been wanting to invite unbelieving friends to church but is nervous about first impressions. What if that’s the week the pastor decides to talk about sexuality? Our friends might be open to exploring faith, but I’m worried that starting with a tricky topic like that—where what Christians believe is so out of the ordinary—would put them off entirely and maybe damage our friendship too. —Cautious in California
Kiara John-Charles: First impressions can be nerve-racking. When it comes to church, they can leave us feeling especially vulnerable because our faith and community are so important. Caution about inviting unbelieving friends to church
is understandable.
However, we must learn to release our fear (2 Tim. 1:7), because we don’t want these concerns to lead to inaction. We can’t control the sermon topic. Instead, we must trust the Holy Spirit to speak to our friends through the sermon, whatever it may be (John 16:13).
That said, while wanting your friends to come to church is a good and godly desire, you could also consider a different way of sharing your faith. Sunday morning doesn’t have to be the first step. You can share the gospel while meeting friends for coffee or invite them to a church small group. Sometimes a more intimate setting can be a comfortable space for people to explore faith for the first time.
Later on, they may initiate the conversation about attending church—or it may feel less daunting for you to invite them after those other interactions. And if the sermon happens to address a difficult topic, you’ll have already built relational equity, helping them feel comfortable asking you questions about the message. Ultimately, we must remember that while we may plant the seed, God is the one who brings the growth (1 Cor. 3:6–7).
Illustration by Jack RichardsonKiara John-Charles is an LA native with Caribbean roots and a love for travel and food. She works as a pediatric occupational therapist and serves at her local church in Long Beach, California.

