31 PRAYERS FOR MY FUTURE HUSBAND:

1. May you exist.

2. May you show up before age 38.

3. May you not be weird.

4. Scratch #3: You can be as weird as me.

5. (Actually, please don't let your weirdness overshadow mine.)

6. May God instill in you a love of cats.

7. Please don't own a turtle.

8. Please have a ROTH IRA or some sort of mutual fund setup.

9. May you be blessed, but not in a prosperity gospel-ish sort of way.

10. Please know another language.

11. Please let that language not be Klingon.

12. May you have a good relationship with your parents.

13. May you not expect me to be your mom.

14. May you learn how to do the dishes, clean a toilet, and do laundry.

15. I just realized #14 was a bit sexist. Sorry.

16. May you be inspired to woo and pursue me.

17. Please don't take me to dates at Dave and Buster's.

18. I'd actually be totally cool with Medieval Times though.

18. May you have a rich prayer life and keep daily quiet times.

19. May you have the grace to let me sleep in.

20. May you love children and all vulnerable creatures.

21. May the Lord instill in you a deep love for the movie Bridesmaids.

22. May the Lord instill in you the wherewithal to clip your toenails over a trashcan.

23. May you have a continual hunger for justice and righteousness.

24. May you have a continual hunger for chicken quesadillas.

25. May you give of your time and riches generously.

26. Again, not in a prosperity gospel-ish way where you think that by giving generously you'll get a cool car or the iPhone 7. Just give for the sake of giving!

27. May you steward your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit.

28. If #27 results in muscles, I guess I'd be cool with that!

29. May you be patient with my incessant need to win people over with humor and ...

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