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Lead Me On: When Even J. Lo Doesn’t Like Herself

Moses had the same problem—and so do we
When Even J. Lo Doesn’t Like Herself

In an interview with Maria Shriver this month, Jennifer Lopez confessed that she has struggled with low self-esteem. It’s getting better. She’s working on it. But there it is.

If this person, who is strong, savvy, and successful, and who sports a booty that is all about the bass in all the right places, does not have at her fingertips a world-class feeling of rock-solid about herself—well, come on already.

Lopez once thought she was scrappy and strong, but she found she was actually ignoring warning signs of low self-esteem. She recalled a time when she was younger and someone, overhearing how she handled a phone conversation, told her that she did not have a good sense of herself.

Wherein we are reminded that what we think is true regularly is just a little bit different than what is actually true. Especially about ourselves.

One place this is even more of a problem than in Hollywood? In the Bible.

What do you get when big-name heroes take the call of die-to-self all the way over to abandon-being-yourself?

In short, Moses.

When Moses was a baby, his indescribably faithful momma tucked him in a basket and settled it among river reeds, which led to a series of miraculous save-his-life-plus-now-he-lives-in-a-palace circumstances. A long time later, he felt convicted to help the unjustly enslaved Israelites—so he thumped a soldier who was hurting a slave. Bold move, but then the slaves turned on Moses, plus the king found out what he’d done to the soldier and, in pure biblically heroic form, Moses hightailed it out of town (Exodus 2).

All to say, this guy had lead a life, and God had been a big part of it. So it should not surprise the reader that, after a time, God showed up on Moses’ doorstep with a job offer.

But Moses wanted God to find somebody else.

Moses’ sense of self could not find its footing. He’d gone from cocky kid to meek man. Unfortunately, both ends of that pendulum swing were getting in the way of Moses’ living out his life’s work. And God did not like that Moses was trying to get out of what God was asking him to do. Why? Because God loved him.

How do I know?

There’s the staff-turned-snake-turned-staff, then the leprous hand, then the explanation about other signs. God was trying to ease Moses’ mind. That is love.

Plus there’s the showing up in the burning bush in the first place. Moses didn’t elicit God’s presence. God came looking for him.

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