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Home > 2007 > OctoberChristianity Today, October, 2007  |   |  
What God Has Joined
What does the Bible really teach about divorce?



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I was being interviewed for what would be my first church pastorate, and I was nervous and unsure what to expect. The twelve deacons sat in a row in front of me and took turns asking questions, which I answered as clearly as I could. All went smoothly until they posed this question: "What is your position on divorce and remarriage? Would you remarry a divorcée or divorced man?"

I didn't know if this was a trick question or an honest one. There might have been a deep-seated pastoral need behind it, or it might have been a test of my orthodoxy. Either way, I didn't think I could summarize my view in one sentence; when I thought about it further, I couldn't decide exactly what my view was. I gave a deliberately vague reply. "Every case should be judged on its own merits."

It worked; I got the job. But I made a mental note to study the subject of divorce, and to do it quickly.

It's a good thing I did. As it turned out, I was surrounded by people who needed answers to questions raised by divorce and remarriage. My Baptist church was located near an Anglican congregation and two Catholic churches. Divorced men and women from these congregations came asking if we would conduct their weddings, having been denied in their local churches. Then I found that some of my deacons had been divorced and remarried. Should I throw them out of church leadership? If I did, I would lose people I considered some of the most spiritual in the church, people with exemplary Christian homes and marriages.

What Does the Bible Say?

The New Testament presents a problem in understanding both what the text says about divorce and its pastoral implications. Jesus appears to say that divorce is allowed only if adultery has occurred: "Whoever divorces a wife, except for sexual indecency, and remarries, commits adultery" (Matt. 19:9). However, this has been interpreted in many different ways. Most say that Jesus allows divorce only for adultery. But some argue that Jesus originally didn't allow even that. Only in Matthew does he offer an out from marriage: "except for sexual indecency." Beyond what Jesus says, Paul also allows divorce. He permits it for abandonment by a nonbeliever (1 Cor. 7:12-15). Many theologians add this as a second ground for divorce.

Yet some pastors have found this teaching difficult to accept, because it seems so impractical—even cruel in certain situations. It suggests there can be no divorce for physical or emotional abuse, and Paul even seems to forbid separation (1 Cor. 7:10).

As a result, some Christians quietly ignore this seemingly "impractical" biblical teaching or find ways around it. For example, they suggest that when Jesus talked about "sexual immorality," perhaps he included other things like abuse. Or when Paul talked about abandonment by a nonbeliever, perhaps he included any behavior that is not supportive of the marriage or abandonment by anyone who is acting like a nonbeliever. Many have welcomed such stretching of Scripture because they couldn't accept what they believed the text apparently said.

But does the literal text mean what we think it does? While doing doctoral studies at Cambridge, I likely read every surviving writing of the rabbis of Jesus' time. I "got inside their heads" enough to begin to understand them. When I began working as a pastor and was confronted almost immediately with divorced men and women who wanted to remarry, my first response was to re-read the Bible. I'd read the biblical texts on divorce many times in the past, but I found something strange as I did so again. They now said something I hadn't heard before I read the rabbis!





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Displaying 1 - 3 of 118 comments.See all comments
Madeline   Posted: October 06, 2007 3:00 AM
I enjoyed reading this article but what has intrigued me the most, are the comments that follow. So many people hurting and such a sensitive topic! I commend all the writers for standing up and having your say. Jesus loves you and no matter what your interpretation, if you are sincerely searching to know and understand the Bible, God's Spirit will lead you into all truth. I look forward to a certain future where pain and suffering in any form are gone and understanding of true love and true commitment really manifests itself. I hope to see you and many others there too...single, divorced or separated or remarried. I am praying for you!

Clinton   Posted: October 08, 2007 3:09 PM
To Alfred: Almost anyone who goes to seminary learns about the Hillelite and Shammaite views prevailing when Jesus said this. So its nothing new, and most pastors are aware of the background. I also understand that sometimes marriage can be very difficult in a very abusive relationship. My wife grew up in one where she saw her mother attacked (it ended in a divorce). Nevertheless, this writer twists Jesus' words which are not ambiguous. He sets a "new command" as opposed to Moses, & says the only ground for divorce are sexual immorality (which by the way which of us has not done for by His standard even "looking with lust" is adultery. So basically that means even there reconciliation is the way). Moreover in Pauls clarification if an "unbeliever" abandoned his spouse, it was ok. I guess a drug-dealing physically abusive person could be considered one. Needless to say, Jesus does not really approve the "remarriage" explicitly at all. Both He & Paul call for reconciliation when possible

Bryan   Posted: October 18, 2007 12:00 AM
While Instone-Brewer's assessment of Jesus' teaching on divorce may offer hope to those who feel trapped in their marriage (a legitimate emotion, to be sure), he does not offer any suggestion as to why Jesus attributed Moses' allowances to the Jews hardness of heart. The plain meaning of Jesus statements, notwithstanding the special meaning of "any cause," puts him at odds with Moses' allowances. The desire to see a more palatable meaning in Jesus words has led Instone-Brewer to engage in wishful reading. The pain of a dysfunctional marriage is not to be minimized, but neither is the making of two into one. I am thankful, however, that the author retains the view that divorce should never happen. For a counterpoint to this article, see http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2007/ 2443_Tragically_Widening_the_Grounds_of_Legitimate_Divorce/

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