"They're making me crazy," Peter said, "they" meaning, among others, the board of elders and a few prominent members. He described the elders as lazy and uncommitted, and the chairman as controlling and incompetent. Peter was very angry.

"If only they would listen to me, things would be better," he insisted.

Peter was middle-aged and a skilled minister. Gifted to lead, Peter's intelligence and creativity opened the door to many ministry opportunities. But soon, even the best ministry setting would turn sour. Peter was baffled by this pattern in his career. His own behavior at those times stumped him. He would suddenly become angry and controlling, and then just as quickly retreat into a subservient position. What brought him to me was the depression that settled in, and with it occasional thoughts of suicide.

When I first met Peter, I noted his intelligence immediately. He could talk about his concerns in great detail, but he couldn't connect his concerns with painful emotions. Mostly I saw ...