Recently I returned to an official ministry role following a sabbatical. After more than 20 years in leadership, I needed time away to become a quiet, private Christian for a while. Beyond rest and rich family time, I received other valuable gifts, each wrapped in a question.

Who am I?

For six months I did not teach, lead, or create anything connected to Sunday services. I wrestled at a deep level with my faith, seeking to disentangle what is most real and basic and true about my relationship with a holy God from the sticky web of professional ministry expectations.

I revisited the simple reasons I love my Lord so much, and the reasons that motivated my early decision to serve God and the church. I saw myself again as a precious daughter of God, and basked in the wonder of what grace means for me.

Assisted by a skilled Christian counselor, I also worked through some wounds of ministry disappointments and explored unhealthy patterns, both in my leadership style and in key relationships. Although ...

Subscriber access only You have reached the end of this Article Preview

To continue reading, subscribe to Christianity Today magazine. Subscribers have full digital access to CT Pastors articles.

Subscribe to CT and get one year free.
Homepage Subscription Panel
Read These Next