Few speeches are as monotonous as the average stewardess's flight announcements. When I hear, "This is Helen, your chief attendant . . ." I either settle down for a long nap or open my book to read. I could make the speech myself.

But Frank was different.

"My name is Frank," he began as we left Detroit on Easter evening, 1982, "and this plane is going to Chicago. If you aren't going to Chicago-well, you're going anyway!"

After a dramatic pause, he continued. "Please be sure your seat belts are fastened. If they aren't, and I discover it, I will belt you into your seat upside-down." A chuckle rippled throughout the cabin.

"There will be no smoking-I emphasize, no smoking in the aisles or the lavatories. If I catch you smoking in either place, I will take your lavatory privileges away from you." We laughed out loud; but we got the message.

At the close of the flight, we bounced hard on the runway as we landed. But Frank was ready: "That was our Easter evening hippity-hop landing at O'Hare Field. ...