I was having lunch with a psychologist who offers her services part-time to her church. As we talked, she was asking me questions about her cases.

Finally I said, "This is ludicrous. I've never studied counseling a day in my life. I'm a businessman, and you're a Ph.D. in psychology, the head of a clinic. Why are you asking me?"

"There's a difference between counseling and asking for advice," she said. "I come to you for good advice."

I was intrigued with her distinction, and reflecting on it, I think it's an important one. Sometimes, I suspect, we confuse the two functions.

Advice is suggesting a specific action within a specific time frame, and it deals with factual things: purchases, job changes, decisions.

Counsel is guidance toward a better relationship, attitude, or lifestyle-things that can't be quantified or tightly scheduled. For instance, counselors can't promise, "You'll have a handle on your depression within two months." When a person wants advice, however, one of the best questions ...