Avoiding the Scarlet Letter

A common path to sexual sin is the notion that feelings are not only all-important but also totally uncontrollable; they just happen to you.
Louis McBurney

We're all shocked when we hear a respected fellow minister has been exposed as an adulterer. We think to ourselves, Boy, what an idiot! I'll never do a thing like that, and we mean every word of it. We're as convinced of it as any commitment we've ever made.

Almost every minister I've counseled who found himself entangled in sexual infidelity had that same confidence. I can remember only two men who consciously set out for sexual conquest. One seriously questioned his masculinity and sought to prove himself through repeated sexual encounters. The other was sociopathic and used others impulsively for his own pleasure or profit in many ways, including sexually.

What derailed all the others, who were so sure it could never happen to them? Although they were neither deeply disturbed in their sexual identity nor sociopathic, they did neglect ...

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