Well, Hollywood is at it again. The evil entertainment empire is loading its guns and taking aim at us Christians, determined to undermine our faith and bring us down.

They're making a movie of The Da Vinci Code, which we all know is full of lies. All lies! I mean, Jesus and Mary Magdalene getting married and having kids?? Give me a break!

To top it all off, they're doing it with a couple of Good Guys we've come to know and trust—Tom Hanks and Ron Howard. Hanks, who brought us the heroes in Saving Private Ryan and Apollo 13, and our favorite  CGI toy cowboy, Woody! And Howard, the guy behind Cinderella Man, Apollo 13, and Cocoon. Plus, he was Opie AND Richie Cunningham. How can you not love these guys!

I'm feeling betrayed—by Hanks, Howard, and Hollywood. The three lethal H's. They're a threat to me and my faith—and to anybody who claims to be a Christian.

So I have a brilliant idea. When the movie hits theaters on May 19, let's organize a mass boycott and picket lines in front of the theaters. That'll teach 'em. I can't think of a better way to …

Hang on a sec. I just got an urgent e-mail …

Um, that was from Josh McDowell, the famous Christian author and apologist. He says I should actually read the book instead of just dissing it. And consider going to see the movie. What??

McDowell says he's even written a book urging us to engage all things Da Vinci. His e-mail says, "The main purpose of my book is to reinforce Christians' belief and placate their skepticism. If you look carefully, truth will always stand. I look at the book and the movie as a platform for evangelism. A little controversy can be a marvelous tool."

Man, is he naï ve! Everybody knows that if it comes out of Hollywood, it's ...

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