Have you ever strolled into a modern art exhibit and found yourself standing in front of some paint splattered canvas, muttering under your breath, "Heck, I could do that!" You may have the same reaction to Disney's shameless resurrection of their time-honored (though hardly sacred) Witch Mountain franchise, a film so incompetently directed and poorly written that it insults kids' intelligence, not to mention the adults who brought them.

AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig are Sara and Seth, two Aryan alien children who crash-land on Earth in an effort to recover a piece of evidence that will save their dying homeworld (they've polluted their planet to the point of inhabitability) and exonerate their embattled scientist parents. It's a task that would be a whole lot easier if they weren't being chased by an extraterrestrial bounty hunter and a cabal of U.S. government spooks (led by Ciarán Hinds) intent on dissecting them.

Their only help is Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson—don't even think of calling him "The Rock" anymore), a convict-turned-cabbie, and a beleaguered UFO specialist (Carla Gugino) named Alex. Oh, and a dog too; it is a Disney movie after all. As the group races from Las Vegas to the Nevada desert (and back again, and back yet again), the government, gangsters, and one very persistent bounty hunter converge to prevent them from reaching the fabled Witch Mountain and their waiting spacecraft. Little do they know that if the children fail to get off the planet, it almost certainly means an alien invasion of Earth.

Director Andy Fickman directs with all the sophistication and elegance of a sledgehammer. His incoherent action scenes (the film was co-written by Mark Bomback of Live Free or Die Hard fame, who ...

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Race to Witch Mountain
Our Rating
2 Stars - Fair
Average Rating
 
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Mpaa Rating
PG (for sequences of action and violence, frightening and dangerous situations, and some thematic elements)
Directed By
Andy Fickman
Run Time
1 hour 38 minutes
Cast
Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino
Theatre Release
March 13, 2009 by Walt Disney Pictures
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