At the close of one of our family life conferences, my wife and I were chatting with some attenders. As the large hall emptied, a woman approached my wife, Karen, and, glancing in my direction, said, "It must be wonderful to have a husband like Ron. He's obviously so thoughtful, courteous, and kind. I wish my husband were like that, and I wish he had been here!"

She was sincere. Karen smiled. I thanked the woman as graciously as I could, sputtered something about not always being that way, and left her with Karen while I packed the car.

The incident is now a decade old. The name and face of that woman have long since vanished from memory, but not the impression she made. Her compliment provided a profound commentary on how listeners can perceive a pastor or speaker. To her I epitomized the ideal husband and father.

How could she have thought anything otherwise? My real-life illustrations and anecdotes were positive ones with happy endings. I communicated that I was the head ...