Acceptance

Peter Marshall wrote a little poem worth recalling:

We have the nicest garbage man.
He empties out our garbage can.
He's just as nice as he can be.
He always stops and talks to me.
My mother doesn't like his smell.
But mother doesn't know him well.

Delegation

There are three ways to get something done:

1. Do it yourself.
   
2. Hire someone else to do it.
   
3. Forbid your kids to do it.
   

Explanations

Cubs relief pitcher Bob Patterson described his pitch, which the Cincinnati Reds' Barry Larkin hit for a game-winning home run: "It was a cross between a screwball and a change-up. It was a screw-up."

Resurrection

A letter came from Health and Human Services to a resident of Greenville County, South Carolina: "Your food stamps will be stopped, effective March 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if your circumstances change."

Self-Esteem

From John Maxwell's book The Winning Attitude:

Two cows were grazing in a pasture when they saw a milk truck pass. On ...