Family

A mix of personal reflections and cultural commentary about family in A mix of personal reflections and cultural commentary about family in America

I Wasn't Prepared for the Ordinary Hard Stuff, or Advent ArrivesIf I can make it through my mother-in-law's death, why does it feel as though I can't make it through my son's temper tantrum?

Our cat peed on our bed again last night.

Marilee had a fever over the weekend.

Penny dropped her glasses in the gravel outside our house last week, and it took all day to find them. She missed her bus.

William got mad that he needed to get dressed this morning and he whacked me in the arm with his stuffed ...

Worth Reading: On Parenting, TV, and Learning

I've written before about my recent experience in a parenting class based on Positive Discipline (rather than authoritative or permissive parenting). Apparently, this approach is really beneficial for kids with special needs. To read more, go to Parenting Style Has Big Impact on Kids with Disabilities. ...

She is Patient, and Brave, and Kind, and I Am GratefulLearning something about contentment from my daughter...

I had a bad dream last week. Or maybe I was half-awake in the middle of the night, thinking about what lay ahead. All I know is that at two in the morning, for the first time, I was worried about Penny's upcoming surgery.

I shouldn't have been. It was the fifth time she would be "put under," and the ...

Bus People, Flesh Colored Crayons, and Privilege: Some Thoughts on Race and Adoption (plus a book giveaway)In commemoration on National Adoption Month, one mother reflects upon raising her daughter by adoption, who has brown skin, in the midst of a her siblings with white skin.

This guest post was written by my friend and colleague Jennifer Grant in commemoration of National Adoption Month. 

Huddled on the bleachers with other parents, thoughts dart around in my mind. What inning is this? Why didn't I bring gloves? Could I be getting frostbite through my coat pockets? I stomp ...

How a trip to Arkansas made me miss my messy lifeI’m incredibly grateful for the break. And incredibly grateful to return to my messy, inefficient, bordering-on-chaotic, life of love.

came out in September of 2011, and I embarked on a year of promotional interviews and speaking gigs from Virginia to Washington D.C. to North Carolina to New York City to Michigan to Chicago, and to various local venues in New Jersey and Connecticut. But this year, given our family's move, I decided ...

Learning How to Love My Kids, Again (or why I'm thankful for Veteran's day even though it means another day off of school)The morning started badly, but we're working it out as a family, I hope...

Our day started at 5:50, with William by my bedside. "Mommy, the only thing that will make me happy is if you give me a movie right now."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "William, is it six o'clock yet?"

"No. It was taking too long."

William knows two things: he is supposed to stay in his bed until 6:00, and ...

What I Will Teach My Children About Our PresidentMy kids don't know much about our president, and I'm glad they don't have to.

Yesterday, I tried to talk to my kids about the election.

William, who is four, was setting out a game based on Richard Scarry's Busytown. "So, William, do you know there's an election tomorrow?"

He shook his head.

"Do you know who our President is?"

"Obama," he said, without looking up, placing Huckle ...

The Candidate All Parents Should Vote For...What it would take to win the vote of all parents in 2016...

William woke up at 4:47 on Sunday morning, even though we kept them up late Saturday night (watching Peter Pan) in an attempt to beat the Daylight Savings beast at its own game. Marilee has been crying in the 5:00 or 5:30 range the past three mornings. Penny has made the transition just fine. But all ...

Halloween and HurricanesIn the past, I have said that Halloween is wasteful. I would still say that it is frivolous. But this year has made me grateful for frivolity, for the safety and comfort that allows families and communities to gather together and dress up and take pictures and giggle and eat candy.

I grew up in a household where every holiday deserved attention. Valentine's Day involved red heart-shaped ornaments with photos of me and my three sisters inside. At Thanksgiving, my mother brought out the stuffed pilgrims she had made by hand and the drawings we had done in grade school to commemorate ...

Preparing to Rest (as a Hurricane approaches)...All of this resting takes work. Or perhaps I should say it takes preparation.

We usually rest on Sundays, well, as much as any family with three young children can rest. We avoid stores (except for yesterday, when, in preparation for Sandy we not only went to the mall to retrieve my computer but also went to Walmart, bought some wine at the liquor store, and secured a copy of ...

Finding Myself Among 50 "Women to Watch" in Christianity TodaySomehow I made Christianity Today's list of 50 "women to watch."

This month's cover story for Christianity Today profiles 50 evangelical women who "are profoundly shaping the evangelical church and North American society." And somehow, I made the list, along with 49 other women who pretty much all seem far more noteworthy than I do (say, Ann Voskamp, Rachel Held ...

Snapshots of the SeasonSnapshots, in words but mostly photos, of life in the Becker family as tears turn, mostly, to smiles.

It's starting to feel like home, with coats hanging near cubbies and routines for the morning (except this morning, when William woke up at 4:52 and Penny followed soon thereafter...) and the drive to school for William and Marilee and the bus pickup for Penny. They are starting to make friends. They ...

Are You Watching the Debates Tonight? Will They Talk About What Matters to You?I don’t think much about tax policy, job creation, teachers unions, national defense, or public health. And I suspect that neither Romney nor Obama spends much time thinking about chores and report cards and rusty minivans. I certainly hope they don’t.

My day as a mom doesn't involve much thought about our government. I think about packing lunches for school, wiping counters, getting our kids dressed in clothes that are somewhat appropriate for the weather outside. I think about how many minutes of television William (age 4) has already watched today. ...

If Moving Almost Killed the Cat...I think the low point came when William spit at me...

... what has it done to the rest of my family?!?

I think I've mentioned that in the past seven weeks we've moved, twice. First into very temporary housing, and then, three weeks ago, into a rental house. We'll be here until February when we move into our permanent home.

Five days into the second move, ...

Penny's Star DaysPenny and I prayed, I cupped my hands around the gift of trust she'd given me, and I scheduled a meeting with her teachers.

A few weeks ago, I asked Penny if she wanted me to pray for her before she went to sleep. She nodded. I said, "Is there anything you need God's help with?"

She nodded again, and in the dim light of the evening, she began to talk: "I don't line up in school at the right time."

I said, "Okay. I can pray ...

Where are the Moms in the White House?Government policy alone will not change the number of mothers in the halls of power. But both parties have an opportunity to couple their rhetoric about moms with policy measures.

The political conventions of 2012 made one thing clear: both parties want to woo the moms of America. As Lisa Belkin pointed out in the midst of the Republican convention, in his convention speech, "Mitt Romney used some version of the word ‘mom' 14 times." Romney's mom-laced speech came after both ...

Grace, by way of Dunkin DonutsWe are on the edge, and we keep getting pulled back by grace.

We've seen a lot of family lately, and both my sister and my sister-in-law have children just about Marilee's age. Recently, as Marilee barreled down the stairs and refused to sit in a high chair and drank out of an open cup and said, "I want backpack!" and stumbled around with Penny's ginormous one ...

Soledad O'Brien, Parents Magazine, the Election, and What Education has to do with the American DreamA few months ago, Parents Magazine and CNN hosted a joint luncheon with an array of moms in order to talk about the upcoming election. As a part of my new gig blogging about the election with parents.com, I had a chance to meet some awesome women and participate in a two-hour conversation with Soledad O'Brien as the moderator. The food was really good too.

A few months ago, Parents Magazine and CNN hosted a joint luncheon with an array of moms in order to talk about the upcoming election. As a part of my new gig blogging about the election with parents.com, I had a chance to meet some awesome women and participate in a two-hour conversation with Soledad ...

What Do You Want to Teach Your Kids About Money? (and what do our Presidential candidates teach them?)What does the election of 2012 teach me, and my children, about economic productivity, hard work, and charitable giving?

Recently, William has become obsessed with money. I think it started when he received twenty dollars for his birthday, which prompted a trip to the toy store where he got to purchase something that he selected. He's been on a quest for more money ever since. He scoured the car for coins. He plays "look ...

What I Learned From Getting Lost in the WoodsA long detour through the woods in our new home has helped me to reconsider my expectations as we head into the school year...

We moved to our new, temporary, home two weeks ago. We will move again next week into a more permanent temporary spot. The final move is slated for February.

That much I knew ahead of time.

What I didn't know was that we were moving to a place without a phone line and where cell phone service is, well, ...

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