(Ardent apologies to Hans Christian Andersen)

Many years ago King Visible Church received royal garments woven out of the revealed truths of Scripture. His delight was to display them to all who would behold. The royal garments were of such beauty that people came from the ends of the earth to see them. Many became so entranced by their glory that they remained to become citizens of the realm over which the King reigned.

Among the hosts of strangers that came to visit the King were two designers who disdained the traditional royal garments and gave themselves out as weavers. They claimed that they knew how to weave the most beautiful fabrics imaginable. Not only were the colors and patterns unusually fine and existential, but the garments that were made of this cloth had the peculiar quality of becoming invisible to every person who was unworthy or who was lacking in the latest scientific knowledge.

The King was greatly disturbed when he heard snatches of their conversation. He would hear them say to others that his royal garb was “out-worn,” “out-dated,” “old-fashioned,” “affront to the intelligentsia,” “lacking in critical scholarship,” “not philosophically respectful,” and many more of like nature. This greatly embarrassed the King. Perhaps he needed the renovations they had to offer. “Those must be splendid garments,” mused the King. “By wearing them I would be able to discover which men in my kingdom are unfitted for their ecclesiastical positions. I shall distinguish the scholars from the fools. Yes, I certainly must commission these wise men to weave some garments for me.” The King commanded that all the venerable institutions of his realm be opened to the weavers and that they be accorded all honor and respect.

So they ...

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