A friend of mine, who is a Very Important Christian Leader, takes time to answer his mail but not to sign the finished letters. His signature is so poor that anybody could sign the letters. His secretary merely stamps the signature: “Dictated by Dr._______ but signed in his absence.” The twenty-second time I saw that stamp, I received a brilliant idea from my muse which, if it pays off, ought to give my wife and me a trip to Winona Lake Bible Conference.

I plan to market a complete set of “Sacred Stamps” that every pastor can use in his ministry and which will save him a lot of time and trouble. For example: “Passed by the official church board but never carried out.” (This one you use on the church clerk’s reports, and also on annual reports that don’t report anything.)

This one is for sermon outlines: “Originally preached by Spurgeon, but borrowed by _______.”

For use in books only: “Borrowed from _______ but not returned.”

“United with the church and has not been seen since.” (This one is for membership record cards and also visitation cards. We include two of these stamps. They wear out in a hurry.)

“United with the church and I hope he/she never comes back.” (The pastor uses this on his own private records.)

“Sorry, our church does not support free-lance missionaries even if they have seen a vision.” (This one will save you a lot of letter-writing.)

I will also prepare special stamps made to order. No sooner had this exciting news gotten out when a well-known pastor wrote asking for: “Baptized by Dr._______ and not to be baptized again.” He wants to stamp this on the candidate, so I’m suggesting he use the kind of ultra-violet system they have at Disneyland.

I’ll be watching for your order.

EUTYCHUS X

(signed in his absence)

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