An unsuspecting archaeologist named Harvey Jenkins has made the find of the year at a dig near the ancient city of Nippur. It is a clay tablet with an inscription that has been deciphered as a dispensational chart. Fortunately, the tablet has the date 1863 B.C. stamped on it, so there is no need to make estimates of its age. Harvey is sure the tablet is authentic.

“My discovery was really accidental,” he told our man in Nippur. (We always keep a man in Nippur just in case there are any accidental discoveries.) “I really wasn’t looking for tablets. I had lost my can of wheat germ and was searching for it when I discovered the tablet.

Experts at the British Museum refused to comment. In fact, they refused to look at the tablet. “Stuff that’s already dated is not of interest to us,” snorted Sir Hilary Boswell-Bangbeetle, head of the tablet department. “It takes all the fun out of archaeological guesswork.”

Harvey’s sister-in-law, Mrs. Gertrude Gaswinder, a waitress in Keokuk, Iowa, stated dogmatically that the find was no doubt the greatest in modern archaeological history. “It is no doubt the greatest find in modern archaeological history,” she told our man in Keokuk. “It proves that the dispensational system is not a new invention, but an old invention.”

Dr. Howard Scroggins, the eminent amillennial archaeologist, examined the tablet carefully and concluded that it was not a dispensational chart. “It is definitely the marks of a horse’s hoof, a rather nervous horse at that,” he explained. “And I will believe this until kingdom come.”

Harvey has interrupted his work to fly back to the U.S. where he is to be involved in: (1) an illustrated lecture tour, (2) writing a book for Moody Press, (3) negotiating a professorship at Dallas ...

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