Wheels That Are Wheels

Unknown to religious journalists, a quiet battle has been raging among fundamentalist leaders over where to build the “Bus Ministry Hall of Fame.” I would not know about this matter myself, except that I happened to board a Canton (Ohio) Baptist Temple bus while visiting Detroit. (I thought the bus was going to the airport. Live and learn.) Anyway, the bus captain was quite garrulous and gave me the details of the conflict.

“Some people vote for Hammond, Indiana, since the world’s largest Sunday school is there,” he said. “But I understand those folks are leasing their buses now. Isn’t there something in the Bible about God hating leasing?”

I assured him there was such a verse, at least in the King James Version. I checked my concordance later: Psalms 4:2 and 5:6.

“Some people are voting for Akron, Ohio, because there are big Sunday schools there. But there are big Sunday schools all over the country. So what?”

“Where do you want the Bus Hall of Fame built?” I asked.

“In Canton, Ohio, of course—where the Christian Hall of Fame is (never mind football). Our bus ministry will match anybody else’s!”

Later, I did some quiet research to discover just what would be displayed in the Bus Ministry Hall of Fame, should it be built anywhere. I will not reveal my sources, but they are unimpeachable and inerrant—and at war with each other. There will, of course, be portraits of the most successful bus captains, as well as hubcaps from the most successful buses. Posters will give statistics from various ministries. There will be one room devoted to various gifts and premiums that helped to lure riders on the buses.

Each large Sunday school is donating one part from a leading bus, and all the parts will be assembled into ...

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