"The new age, the way we have defined it in the past, is passing now. Everything was me, me, me. But being egocentric is over."
Walter Mercado, astrologer, explaining September 11's damage to his industry
"We believe in Jesus—more than you do, in fact."
Fisal Hammouda, Imam, explaining Islam at Willow Creek Community Church
"We are willing to worship a God only if God makes us safe. Thus you get the silly question, How does a good God let bad things happen to good people?"
Stanley Hauerwas, professor of theological ethics at Duke University
"For those who believe in nothing."
Bill McMillon, councilman of Ringgold, Georgia, explaining a blank plaque displayed next to the Ten Commandments and the Lord's Prayer.
"Being a Baptist won't keep you from sinning, but it'll sure. … keep you from enjoying it."
Jimmy Dean, the "sausage king" and country recording artist
Sources: The Columbus Dispatch, Chicago Tribune, The Chronicle of Higher Education, Fox News, Esquire