This morning, I left the house early to work out. My husband Peter arose with the kids—Penny, age 8, William, 5, and Marilee, almost 3. I returned to find them in various forms of protest, insisting I make their breakfast even though their dad is equally capable of slicing banana bread and strawberries.
The morning progressed and Peter tried to help out—packing lunches, showers, getting dressed, making beds, brushing teeth—as our children continued to resist his assistance. They swarmed me for most of the time, with one break to pillow-fight with their father.
Liza Mundy's recent article in The Atlantic, Daddy Track: The Case for Paternity Leave, suggests that the parenting imbalance in our household has a specific root. I took maternity leave. And although my husband and I talked for years about sharing parenting responsibilities, he took only a few days off from work after each of our children was born.
Peter said he would stop working or work part-time so he could be with the kids and I could work more, but his job provided our housing and health insurance. What's more, as a writer, I brought in approximately $2 an hour, leaving me to find a better-paying job I didn't really want or to keep plugging away at writing during the kids' naps.
With time, it didn't seem to make sense for us to switch roles. I knew the routines. He liked his job. We secured some childcare so I could keep writing. And finally, as much as I bemoaned my life as a part-time SAHM, I also cherished what I learned from being around these little ones every day. The small decisions about who sang the kids to sleep and who changed the dirty diapers and who planned the meals all became patterns of life together. ...1
Already a CT subscriber? Log in for full digital access.
Subscribe to Christianity Today and get access to this article plus 65+ years of archives.
- Home delivery of CT magazine
- Complete access to articles on ChristianityToday.com
- Over 120 years of magazine archives plus full access to all of CT’s online archives
- Learn more