SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT

“Hello there! Welcome to Trader Eli’s, largest chariot dealer in Jerusalem! My name is Sam. Can I help you?”

“I’m just looking right now, but I’m interested in a chariot for a friend.”

“I understand perfectly. Just step right over here and let me show you this little beauty. Here’s a small, easy-handling model with a single-tree for one horsepower. Notice the white sidewalls and the deluxe interior with leopardskin upholstery. The two-tone exterior is available in all those wild colors the ladies really go for.”

“It’s not for a lady friend.”

“Something for a man friend, eh? Well, just step over here and let me show you this racy sports model. Notice how low slung this baby is. Sits right on the ground. And the sleek styling makes it look like it’s doing 100 just sitting still.

“Standard equipment on this job includes brass wire wheels, Acacia-wood dashboard and racing stripe. It also comes with a double-tree for a full two horsepower.

“Since it’s getting near the end of the model year I’ll make you a special deal on this one. Our sales manager’s on vacation so I’ll just slip this one through at 100 denarii over our cost.”

“Actually, I had in mind something with a bit more dignity. We need something to be used in a sort of political parade, so it needs to be a chariot that says prestige and authority.”

“I can see you’re a man of real judgment about chariots. We have exactly the model you need! Just come over here and take a look—the chariot all Judea wants.

“Here’s our luxury model. The emperor himself uses one of these—custom-made, of course. This one is handcrafted.

“Take a look at the interior with cedar-of-Lebanon panels inlaid with ivory. For a touch of luxury there’s a built-in hourglass. The floorboard ...

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