Having this uncontrollable urge to witness, I had armed myself well with prayer and paraphernalia. I had selected some subtle nuances at the Christian bookstore from among John 3:16 ballpoints, Philippians 1:6 Frisbees, and John 10:20 compact mirrors, and certain power-endowed novelties manufactured by corporate zealots out to change men’s destinies with cleverisms. All bases were covered. I felt confident as I finished lunch, pushed back my chair, and approached a restaurant cashier. It seemed I could hear the restless angels preparing to rejoice. I would be subtle, but so powerful.
Drawing near, I leaned forward across the counter. I did it left lapel first; my gold fishhook glinted in the cashier’s eye. She appeared not to notice. I could tell the way my right lapel wrinkled that she would not even see my “Try God” pin. It was becoming tarnished anyway—I had left it on my suit a couple of times when it went to the cleaners, and the lady who gave me the cleaning hadn’t even asked me what it meant; it was clearly ineffective.
“That will be $4.85,” said the cashier.
As I reached in my wallet for the bills, I drew out my “Make Christ Your Master-Card.” She took the bills, apparently not noticing the card. When I reached for the change I needed, I drew out my “Cross-in-the-Pocket.” She looked past it and took the change.
I turned to walk away, wishing I’d worn my Matthew 4:19 T-shirt, when suddenly I turned and decided to be direct. I gave her my tip along with a tract called “A Tip for Living.” She threw it in the trash as she pocketed the money. “Next,” she said, turning to someone else and taking his check.
I heard her say, “$3.37, sir,” to the next customer. And I realized there were days when people just weren’t ...1
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