Brené Brown, appearing on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday, announced, “I think shame is lethal, I think shame is destructive. And I think we are swimming in it deep.” Her TED talk “Listening to Shame” received more than 14 million views. In it, she warns how shame is the gremlin that laughs and plays two tape recordings in our mind: “Never good enough” or “Who do you think you are?”

This metaphor presents shame as a repetitive trap: Recurring experiences of shame destroy our self-esteem, and low self-esteem predisposes us to experience shame. This vicious cycle eventually spirals out of control, leading to addictive and destructive patterns of behavior. For Brown, shame is a pernicious emotion that serves no constructive purpose; we must therefore renounce its use and develop resilience to all forms of shame.

The desire to eliminate shame from our everyday experience seems reasonable, but to do so cripples our capacity to be ...